Chele's Bells

Redhead with enough blonde to be scary!

[Chele's Bells @chelesbell]

@AmazingEyes1122 Iowa

[Chele's Bells @chelesbell]

Back on X Wow!

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: *takes a cough drop*

5-year-old: Why do you eat those?

Me: So I can talk again.

5: Is Mom okay with that?

[Lounge Fly @mrjohntofu]

It's cool how we use a meat thermometer one time for the 37 other times it jambs up the drawer.

[Chele's Bells @chelesbell]

How's your day ma'am?

*slaps tampons, 5 gallon tub of ice cream and box of wine on counter

[Kate Hall @KateWhineHall]

I was planning to work out, but accidentally purchased a half-dozen Krispy Kreme rainbow sprinkle donuts instead.

[Just Bill @WilliamAder]

Trump should just tell his supporters the wall has been built. They've believed all his other lies; they'll believe that one, too.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

Me: I need to eat healthy and lose weight.

Also me: Beer.

[Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4]

How many glasses of wine does it take to forget you have something cooking on the stove?

The answer is 2, apparently.

[Chele's Bells @chelesbell]

Is Mayweather about to rob me or tie me up?

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

5-year-old: *sticks both feet through one pant leg*

Me: Want some help?

5: No. I'm a mermaid.

[Kate Hall @KateWhineHall]

Advice for life:
1. Be kind.
2. Be brave.
3. Make sure your garage door is all the way up before backing out.

[Chele's Bells @chelesbell]

I hate running into people I know at Walmart. My cart is all loaded down with wine, coffee, monster and cat food.

[Chele's Bells @chelesbell]

For fucks sake, they could pretend they want to card me!!!

[Chele's Bells @chelesbell]

80% of the time when you talk about your breast implants w another woman she will want to feel them & 50% of the time she won't ask first.

[Chele's Bells @chelesbell]

16 y/o talked me into going to Panara Bread. Only to discover it was to see a cute cashier. Does that make me my son's wingman?

[Chele's Bells @chelesbell]

Is it alcoholism if i drink a glass of wine by myself or FINISH a bottle of wine by myself? Not sure of that line is. Asking for a friend.

[Pugnado 🐾🌪 @LuvPug]

In High School I was pretty popular with all the boys.
I was known as "Hey, will you ask your friend if she likes me?"

[Sarcastic Mommy @sarcasticmommy4]

The day after Mother's Day is a great reminder that your family still doesn't know how to do common household tasks.

[Matt Oswalt @MattOswaltVA]

looking forward to Memorial Day when Trump solemnly fires off a T-shirt cannon at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier https://t.co/2wGqtMnoo1