Michelle Rae

I am not funny and I think that's hilarious.

[Scott Gulbransen @LVGully]

Sometimes we want what we want even if we know it’s going to kill us.

[Johnny Castle @BlueDream_2008]

Her: Why are you crying?
Me: I'm just so happy that you let me have sex with you.
Her: OH OK, well I'll call you.
Me: Do you promise?

[Brian 🇨🇦 @briangoff]

the only certainty you can really depend on comes from yourself

[Michelle Rae @chelleub75]

Pretty sure the woodchucks are getting tired of chucking wood.

[Michelle Rae @chelleub75]

@TJN3 Im also open to tractor repairmen and storm chasers. ;)

[Michelle Rae @chelleub75]

Men. Can't live with them, and can't seem to find any good ones on okcupid..or POF, or Match. Christian mingle? All freaks!!

[KSHB 41 News @KSHB41]

KC man seeks help after transformer melts his car http://t.co/aElyHSkJKo

[Michelle Rae @chelleub75]

Apparently "cuz I said so" isn't a good enough reason for the fb bitches why I'm getting my 16 yr old daughter a tattoo.

[Michelle Rae @chelleub75]

@C_Brusca Think there's only one season right? But excellent show!!

[Michelle Rae @chelleub75]

Annnd I won't be funny while doing it too...

[Michelle Rae @chelleub75]

You're not the boss of me. I'll treat twitter the way I want. Just like my friends. Ignore for a month, then pick up where we left off...

[DaddyJew @DaddyJew]

Did it hurt?

"Did what hurt?"

When you fell off your high horse and got bitched slapped by reality

[Johnny Castle @BlueDream_2008]

We can hangout bro, but we're not fucking with the Ouija board.

[Michelle Rae @chelleub75]

When life hands me lemons, I throw em in a sock and go take the rage out on someone else.

[tazz @noneofyours99]

World of Warcraft is men playing barbies

[Michelle Rae @chelleub75]

Ny's resolution is to be even less funny on here. So far so good.

[Michelle Rae @chelleub75]

I couldn't care less if I'm doing twitter wrong. I'm doing it my way. There's many other things you can DM me about ass.