Judith Snow

If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Seriously, just punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.

[Judith Snow @ChelyubeevMs]

Oh, I didn't tell you? Must've been none of your damn business.

[Judith Snow @ChelyubeevMs]

Twitter made me love strangers I've never met & Facebook made me hate people I've known all my life.

[Juanita Murphy @tozaviFi]

Never regret any of the shit you've done, Because in the end it's what makes you who you are.

[Valerie Rosa @gladinov]

I speak 4 languages, English, profanity, sarcasm & real shit!

[Andrea Randolph @vyshegorodskik1]

No... I'm not drunk.. Floors need hugs too.

[Rebekah Jackson @lgordiets]

Please do not steal, the IRS hates competition.

[Judith Snow @ChelyubeevMs]

You can't keep f**king with other people's feelings just because you're unsure of yours.

[Judith Snow @ChelyubeevMs]

The 1st was masturbating, but that just made funerals awkward.

[Julia Flowers @vdrymov]

Adolescence - When children start bringing up their parents.

[Judith Snow @ChelyubeevMs]

It's not hard to find someone who tells you they love you, Its Hard To find someone who actually means it.

[Sara Noe @96_vakalov]

Dear new generation, The Lion King was during our generation, Just because it came out in 3D doesn't make it yours. Sincerely the 90s kids

[Judith Snow @ChelyubeevMs]

My wife just told me she's pregnant. God, I hope it's not mine.

[Judith Snow @ChelyubeevMs]

My favorite drink is the next one.

[Judith Snow @ChelyubeevMs]

When I was born, I was so shocked I didn't talk for a year and a half.

[Judith Snow @ChelyubeevMs]

Facebook prank: 1) Change your name to "No One." 2) Go try to add someone. It will say, "No One wants to be your friend."

[Judith Snow @ChelyubeevMs]

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff.

[Agnes Starkey @SelivanEleskin]

Biggest lie ever : I accept these terms and conditions.

[Helen Davis @kpeshnyak1]

98% of the people in this world are stupid! Lucky for me, I'm part of the other 5%.

[Judith Snow @ChelyubeevMs]

I try to donate to charity, but they keep bringing my kids back.