cheyanide

the coolest girl you don’t know

[Anakin Skywanker @justpearthings]

Dick too fat doctor had me taking girth control pills

[hasanabi @hasanthehun]

these mfs can’t do anything that isn’t a war crime

[moncho @monchoidk]

man I just want gas the fuck does this mean

[Jim Stewartson, Decelerationist 🇨🇦🇺🇦🇺🇸 @jimstewartson]

Aside from desecrating the White House, you’re making MARINES stand there at attention for fucking dirt bikes?

You disrespectful, toxic Nazis are going to get destroyed.
Everyone in this white trash mafia has marked themselves for life.

[shine ♀ @ladymysticalwmn]

Why do men try to prove to us that football players are handsome. If you think they're handsome good for you lmfao. Most of us don't find them handsome but you men can find them handsome as much as yall want we don't gaf

[mr. booty ham sandwich @r0ttensilver]

i’m so interested in all that is unknown to me

[Chisom Ogamba, PhD @CP_Ogamba]

Especially women. We can wake up one day & all our rights will be taken away on a whim but never for men. The Afghan women went to bed one night & woke up the next day as slaves in their own homes & it haunts me everyday.

[the michael jackson of stomp clap @necrobranson]

Trying to avoid eye contact with my wife this Saturday morning as she has a big exclamation point quest giver mark over her head

[priscilla (alt) @seashell_luvr]

many people are not good, just neutered, give someone an ounce of power or audacity and see how they use it

[Liz Is Amused @lizisamused]

When I was in grade school, some girls would run more slowly than they could so their crushes could catch them during tag.

I refused to run more slowly. I was the 3rd fastest runner in my grade. So naturally I crushed on the only 2 guys who could actually catch me: Matt & Michael.

I demand real excellence in my men to this day. I refuse to fake it. Know more than me on some topics or go away 🫳🏻

[Teddy @WarnerTeddy]

i framed a colorful e ink on my wall to display a collage of any birds that have passed by my window today

[♡ mari/cohe ♡ @noinconsistency]

you'd think the people who constantly say pride month should actually be "veterans month" would be angrier about this

[EMG Max Ketchum @MaxKetchum_]

My mayor is Muslim, my pizza is Italian, I’d kill myself before cheating on Megan Thee Stallion

[tyler the carrot @needsomeindomie]

‘name 3 knicks players’ jalen brunson, zohran mamdani and spider-man

[Tuxedo @kevsack]

Kill us all

[Caiman | Private Investigator @CaimanPI]

Maybe putting a retarded South African and his army of faggot software devs in charge of government spending was a bad idea

[psychward george @soutexsupremacy]

Women that want to be housewives tend to be kinda dumb and everyone is aware of that but you’re never allowed to say it for some reason.