C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin

AN AMAZON BESTSELLER for like 2 minutes in a category I can never tell my mother I'm in and didn't even want to be in to begin with.

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

Did I mention I have a new release coming out on June 1? A super kinky, super breedalicious thing? https://t.co/KZP0iq9WWJ

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

I know no one wants to hear this, but we actually don't deserve good customer service. No one in customer service deserves to be treated how at least 10% of customers treat them, so the only people who stick with cs either can't get a better job or don't care about the abuse.

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

Is "women are more appealing if they drink beer" an actual thing? Is this women-writing-men-badly or do men actually feel more positive about a woman if she asks for a beer?

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

ALL IN went live yesterday and I continue to suck at marketing. It's a thing. Oh and it's still in the dungeon so use that link
➡️ https://t.co/23KvHDtaJ1

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

It's like we've all collectively forgotten about that time Dan Aykroyd and Rosie O'Donnell starred in a buddy cop movie inspired by an Anne Rice erotic romance set at a BDSM resort.

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

There's something delightful and comforting in a geriatric way about the fact that in 40 years, if I'm still on this earth, regardless of where technology takes us, the best of vine compilations will have the exact same content.

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

Why do none of my TikToks end up looking right when they post I have wasted so much time this morninggggggg 🫠🫠🫠

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

Just kill me now 🤷‍♀️

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

Super important question for the grammar experts in the crowd:

Is ballsack one word or two? 😅

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

Y'all I have a TikTok! (I mean, I had one before but it was chaos and non-writerly things) Share your #smuttok so I can start training that algorithm, please and thank you #TikTok https://t.co/2fhFIiyeTH

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

Other books' most popular highlights: epic declarations of love
My books' most popular highlights:

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

@hank_dolworth Ugggh at least it's obvious it was one person.

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

@AlexandraPeel Absolutely. I just don't see the value in challenging the reader with unconventional punctuation. It feels like a gimmick to distract from the story itself and scare off more casual readers.

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

@jaimiehunter Also on the "just" team over here. I'll usually do a search sometime later in editing to clear out as many as I can before publishing.

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

Show me a single first edition book traditionally published in the last decade without a grammatical or typographical error, and I'll allow you to accuse an indie author of being unprofessional bc their novel had a marginal number of errors.

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

Well hello there, FB commenter who said she just needs to get a proofreader who then doubled down when I pointed out that it can be cost prohibitive for many indie authors. Must be nice to have 1000s of $$$ of disposal income on hand 🙄🙄🙄

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

Looks like it's time for the semi-annual reminder to *not* use the Report Content Error button on Amazon. Amazon routinely bans books based on this and, as evidenced by what just happened to Becka Mack, it doesn't take an egregious amount.

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

@damewithapen Okay but I want the🌶️to start in Act 1, and it's kind of hard to keep the drama going if they're banging it out in Chapter 2 and there isn't a break-up in Act 3 😅

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

seriously how tf did I forget that Physical Graffiti is this goddamn good

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

@coffeequills @24hournovel I am in absolute awe of anyone who can do this or even makes a serious attempt at it. I consider myself an *extremely* efficient writer, and I think the most I've ever gotten is 15k and couldn't fathom tripling that.

[C. B. Alice is Chloe Alice Balkin @chloecomplains]

No, I'm not adding a whole ass scene to a book that's literally due to be published in *three freaking weeks*. That would be ludicrous and irresponsible.