Chris Cook

Oppo sit down. Satire in @thisisrobotbutt, @GreenerPastSat, @HumorDarling, @Havencomedy, etc. Oh and @untimed_down.

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

My Photo Library after my four year old steals my phone

[Skip Bayless @RealSkipBayless]

I can’t lose in these shoes.

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

@SNLinReview WE TALKIN’ SNL REVIEWS?

…

WE TALKIN’ SNL REVIEWS?

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

BREAKING: your Mom’s heart for not going to Easter mass

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

@Philly_Mays Didn’t want to intervene but I’m still thinking about my bisteca alla fiorentina from Fioretta Friday. Hope you enjoyed big dawg

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

Happy Thanksgiving from my horny Mormon cousins

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

Love how the opening of episode two of Pluribus was a tribute to Nathan Fielder

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

Dick Cheney is just another name for a dangly Prince Albert piercing

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

In lieu of Halloween candy I’m giving every kid who shows up in a KPop Demon Hunters costume a 15 minute lecture on cultural appropriation

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

Bill Burr if he bombs at that Saudi comedy fest

[Ian Rapoport @RapSheet]

#Bills punter Cameron Johnston, who suffered a lower-leg injury, is expected to miss some time, sources say. No word yet on IR. But Buffalo will need another punter.

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

My arteries when I hold off on having a sixth donut

[Chicago Bears @ChicagoBears]

HUGE STOP BY COOK 😤

📺: FOX32

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

@kelleygreene The iPhone feature that lets you auto fill confirmation codes

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

Tossed salads and scrambled eggs

[People @people]

Kelsey Grammer Is Set to Become a Dad of 8 at 70 as Wife Kayte Walsh Is Expecting Baby No. 4 (Exclusive) https://t.co/2gggmG6dHa

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

The

[Merriam-Webster @MerriamWebster]

What is the most overused word in your industry?

Let it out.

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

@kelleygreene My fake friends gotta be RIGHT next to me for it to look real. They gotta be RIGHT next to me.

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

Took an edible and watching my first wrestling show in 25 years AMA

#WrestleMania

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

Kanye was the second gunman

[The Associated Press @AP]

BREAKING: Previously classified files related to the 1963 assassination of President John F. Kennedy have been made public. https://t.co/in44vBuoSR

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

Wondering if I need to scribble up a darker sequel @GreenerPastSat

https://t.co/JfkmcLgWi1

[The Associated Press @AP]

Former Texas megachurch pastor indicted in Oklahoma on child sexual abuse charges https://t.co/kWCh6gNlQd

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

My Chief Eagles

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

Wild to have “as” for a middle name

[O’Shea Jackson Jr @OsheaJacksonJr]

Liv Morgan’s real name is hard as fuck

[Chris Cook @chriscook2]

Fully and completely pissing my pants in solidarity with all of the New Years Eve Times Square dwellers