chris

sheetz enthusiast

[chris @chrisohey]

Ok I REALLY should have setup my iPhone’s Face ID with a Juul in my mouth

[chris @chrisohey]

@Bartosz12254215 @MuzlimsPostingW Is that a fucking anime girl?!?? 😂

[chris @chrisohey]

@IterIntellectus > be this guys wife
> don’t go to work because you’re an entirely made up person
> make morons in comments mad

This is why men are alone

[chris @chrisohey]

@elonmusk Just wanted to say thank you to everyone attacking Tesla in the face of relentless support.

❤️❤️ Super Appreciated!! ❤️❤️

[chris @chrisohey]

@elonmusk @grok People in the comments seem to be confused, the error on the blackboard was already known and corrected, in development ai takes information from a variety of sources so it’s just repeating something it saw in an article, this is not a big deal.

[chris @chrisohey]

I’m going to stop school shootings by telling teenagers that they’re so ✨millennial core✨

[chris @chrisohey]

I just want to give my love to all the short kings (corgis)

[chris @chrisohey]

Trying to pass a statutory rape law to make it illegal to have sex with men under 5”8.

[chris @chrisohey]

Me: going through the most severe depressive episode of my life

My cat: fuck yeah it’s nap time with mommy again!

[chris @chrisohey]

If it ever looks like I’m taking a cute selfie just know I’m actually using face recognition to open the McDonald’s app.

[chris @chrisohey]

Link being tasked with saving Zelda but instead going around getting new clothes and reading people’s diaries is such a vibe.

[chris @chrisohey]

When I shit at work I do it in the stall closest to the door cause fuck this place.

[chris @chrisohey]

What if FDR was just trying to hide a boner that whole time

[chris @chrisohey]

Your screen time use was down 85% last week! 💕💖✨-my work laptop

[chris @chrisohey]

I am in a male dominated field because it’s very important for women (me) to be empowered (vape alone in the bathroom)

[chris @chrisohey]

I am rapidly reaching the same age as women who proudly declare their love for wine in humors ways and no one warned me how alarming that is.

[chris @chrisohey]

Constantly feeling underdressed next to my tuxedo cat

[chris @chrisohey]

This artisanal fresh baked farmers market rosemary bread has actually become a bit of a burden.

[chris @chrisohey]

Sometimes I say “big stretch” to my cat when it was, objectively, a very medium stretch, I’m just that kind of person

[chris @chrisohey]

Dudes will be like “men created society” and I’m like bro that’s so embarrassing why would you advertise that?

[chris @chrisohey]

An app that that tells you whether or not something is an accurate example of irony.