Chris

Watford FC.

[Tom Nestor @tomnestorcomic]

One of Starmers biggest failings was his eratic use of the weather machine

[arthur 🇵🇷 @noknowli]

to be honest that seems pretty reasonable

[Nebraskangooner @Nebraskangooner]

Winner gets the Strait of Hormuz

[Jerome 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿♿️ @JeromeLuvsWoke]

>becomes PM
>fixes the premier League so his team wins
>turns weather machine up to extreme
>leaves

[hamsters🌐🐹 @sigmahamster2]

“If people gave me their money, I could give it to other people and feel good about myself. Look how altruistic I am”

[Dixon Uranus @RealDixonUranus]

"Tell them to put 'probably gay' in the headline."

[Siraj Hashmi @SirajAHashmi]

Auto-translation is the best feature of this app. Change my mind.

[Paddy Raff @paddyraffcomedy]

Describing a Toblerone to someone who’s never had one before

[Father Chopmas 🎅🏼 @TweetingChop]

State of that.

[mert @mert]

"ive been in office for 13 years and our yearly budget is 7 trillion but we can't help children unless we steal from the guy doing spaceflight"

[Konstantin Kisin @KonstantinKisin]

The ban on social media for children under 16 is an idea that has merits. But the way it is being done is simply a way to force everyone, including adults, to identify themselves online, creating the most powerful surveillance and censorship architecture in human history.

[danny @danxcix]

> Give 16 year olds the vote because they are historically Labour supporting
> Absolutely nuke any chances of them ever voting for Labour

Masterful gambit Sir Keir

[Matthew Bowles @Matthew__Bowles]

This is similar to Sunak’s Tobacco and Vapes Bill during his final months.

A PM that knows the clock is ticking, so rushes through poorly thought-out policy to create a “legacy” - all at the expense of individual freedoms.

[Jonathan Pie @JonathanPieNews]

The last sentence is the real meat and potatoes of this.

What's being promoted as a 'social media ban for children', is really an ID check for every adult.

[Hon. Vickie Paladino @VickieforNYC]

We’re always just one more tax away from utopia.

[Dr Kieran Mullan MP 🇬🇧 🇺🇦 @KieranMullanUK]

The absence of a tax is not a subsidy!!!!!!!

[Daniel Priestley @DanielPriestley]

Under capitalism, socialists are free to build socialism.

Under socialism, capitalists aren’t free to build anything.

Nothing stops a group of socialists pooling their money, forming a company, and splitting every wage and every pound of profit perfectly equally.... Or to donate all profit to the government.

It’s legal. It’s easy. Owning the means of production is as simple as setting up a company.

Marx wrote his manifesto before the invention of limited liability companies. Back then “seize the factory” meant seizing it from the handful of families who could afford one.

That argument expired the day anyone could start a company with limited liability, raise investment and hire who they want.

Socialists are free to lead by example and demonstrate their system works. They can out-recruit, out-motivate, out-build and out innovate based on their ideas if they like. It would prove the philosophy works. Capitalism will happily host their experiment.

The fact that nobody does this tells you a lot.

[Charles Archer @that_stocks_guy]

Just one more tax bro, I swear bro, just one more and everything will be fine

[Dan Bruce @dannybster]

Constantly looking for something to tax, rather than something to fix.

[Tom Harwood @tomhfh]

Why are investment bankers living in two up two downs in South London that were built for manual labourers?

Because we haven’t built enough luxury housing.

When we don’t build luxury homes, the houses that used to be for the everyman become the preserve of the elite.

And everyone else moves *down* the chain. By building luxury homes we can move everyone *up* that chain.