Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton)

Comic, Previously a Rapper. Frequent Heartburn Haver. Would rather be popular than smart. Super Under qualified for my day job.

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

@K_A_N_D_E_L This is amazing dude! And now that I know how it ends, I don’t wanna play anymore

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

@RobertKennedyJr 4.1 Million people watching!

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

Hi Twitter! I know I’m not good at being on here, but hey, maybe you’ll like this: I shot a special, and I want you to watch it

https://t.co/ViJRSOdKZ1

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

@acupofkhafi @boohoo Wrong

[Max Halpert @maxhalpert]

#AppleVisionPro when you look at android users

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

If it’s St. Patty’s Day, and you’re not wearing green. I assume pinching turns you on. You’re a freak aren’t you? ☘️

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

I’ve heard @Usher say “Yea” more than everybody I’ve ever met in my entire life combined.

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

I’m only on Twitter to see what conservatives are up to.

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

At this point, I’d get more attention online if I just registered as a sex offender.

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

In my mind, I tweeted yesterday, and that’s all that matters

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

When you’re married, “That’s what she said” becomes less of a fun joke, and more of a reason you can’t hang with the fellas!

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

If you’ve never burned money but you want the same thrill, try submitting to a comedy festival

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

At a wedding, when they say, “speak now or forever hold your peace”
If someone speaks…
What the hell happens?
Do we take a 15 minute recess before presenting arguments for or against the nuptials?

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

Twitter is so lucky we don’t eat Blue Birds for Thanksgiving.

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

I spent over an hour trying to think of a tweet, then I realized NOBODY CARES!

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

Millennials and Boomers are separated by ONLY 1%

Today my phone died, and I started asking people what time it was, and if they could MapQuest me directions

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

Because of they are SO polarizing, There are 4 things you never discuss in a bar:
1) Politics
2) Religion
3) War
4) Taylor Swift

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

Elton John My Mom’s
Opinion on
My Comedy
🤝
It’s a little bit funny

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

Just found out that my Dad watches my stand up clips to see if I’ve gotten fatter than the last time he saw me.

[Chris Waitkus (Mr. Rick Clinton) @chriswaitky]

Btw! I know I’m not doing Twitter right… but I am unwilling to admit that I have things to learn.

Actually, NVM, I’m doing it perfect. 👍🏽