The Smiler

total goner

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

I want texts and presents

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

Saw a magazine at grocery checkout titled “FIBERMAXXING”. If anyone uses incel lingo in front of me again they’re getting hit. That language should have remained in the lowest crevices of the internet it should not be in real life at my grocery store

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

Heartwarming: the UTC chic fil appears to still be staffed almost exclusively by LGBTs

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

Why are they playing slow piano cover of poker face as we deboard this plane

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

Nibbling Cheerios from my own hand like I’m gently feeding oats to a horse

[DetectiveInspector_swag @guppythegood]

The best part about being a beautiful woman is acting like a stupid man

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

In Mississippi with a watch tan

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

@guppythegood I’ll be ur first customer

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

Pleased to announce that I’m greying prematurely

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

Today I jumped out of bed and an intense zing shot up from my heel and immediately all feeling returned to my dead left toe

[kirsten 🩸 @neverjanedoe]

I’m genuinely in tears right now please unmute this video

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

I hate everything you can buy and I don’t want it

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

All polymarket bets I see are like “WHAT WILL ULTIMATELY TRIUMPH: GOOD OR EVIL?” and the odds are 81% in favor of evil

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

@nattydracks What on earth

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

Danced so much I still can’t feel my left middle toe #worthit

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

@guppythegood u beat me to this joke

[The Smiler @chumpschmuck]

Didn't even realize that yesterday was ash wednesday, but I ate a huge fish dinner and was miserable and ponderous anyway. Razor sharp Irish catholic genetic instincts

[Cgi yungface @nattydracks]

Crease your js and FUCKING RUN

[Muhammad Smiry 🇵🇸 @MuhammadSmiry]

Gaza this Ramadan, 2026.

[onion person @CantEverDie]

super bowl ads are always annoying and bad but i think this is the first year they were legitimately Evil