CIA Assassin

From hellholes to the Ritz, wet work done right. [email protected]

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

@DarinielDejesus @MicahGrimes @NYPDnews can you all send somebody to check on this guy in the Bronx? Seems like he's having a mental health crisis.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

The next bastard who critiques my stabbing ability is gonna get shot in the face. I'm looking at you, Simmons.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

I'm a dinosaur. An anachronism. They say a drone can do my job. The difference? Culpability. Goodbye, Venezuela. Goodnight sweet prince.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

Bumped into a Mossad Squad in Monaco. I've no idea why they use ten people to do something I do with just John Browning and Jack Daniels.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

Not dead, just busy. Killing people is exhausting work.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

I'd like to tell you killing terrorists is rough work, but that'd be a lie. It's really fun. Like going to disneyland, just with more death.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

Green Beanies push their "Quiet Professional" persona, but don't ever beat them at badminton. Bastards put camel shit all in my pack.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

No matter what anybody tells you, nobody can party harder than ST6. The guys are like a bunch of vikings on holiday.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

Well, it was a nice run stateside, but I'm headed back to the Stans. Dev Gru needs more tequila.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

Swank pad today. On the other side of the dune is Miami's best nude beach. Behind me is...well, it's not pretty.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

Well that was fun. It's been years since I felt so giddy. I swear, I feel so ALIVE! I really should use my knife more often.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

Mark was fat, old desk jockey. Decided to have a little fun and jump out of his closet with a BOO! Massive coronary on the spot. Easy peasy.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

They say the pen is mightier than the sword...but a suppressed .22 behind the ear trumps all. I'll sleep well tonight. He'll sleep forever.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

I love Tahoe this time of year. Essence of spruce and oligarchs fills the air. Their blood smells like borscht.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

Roses are red violets are blue, I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Just kidding...I had a reason.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

The bean counters back in Langley are never going to reimburse me for this suit. At this rate I should buy Target instead of Savile Row.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

Mossad guys always up in my grill about eating bacon, but they'll sure as hell eat some nasty ass bbq goat.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

I hate having to take down rogue spooks. They're all "blah blah, but my family! You coached my kid in baseball!" Shut up and eat cyanide.

[CIA Assassin @CIAAssassin]

Some days I remember what fun this job can be. Doing my duty for president and country and all that...Then the mark shits himself.