jordan,liketheriver

i’m probably in bed. she/her/hers/yours

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

last night this dude gave me the compliment that I “ate his ass like a gay man” and I know that’s tmi as hell but what was I gonna do, *not* tweet about it?

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

my refusal to pack for a trip until the very last second should be studied

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

literally the question on everyone’s mind last night

[liz @normalfunnygirl]

Where’s afters in San Francisco

[bella @earlygirl__]

if you’re good enough at your job, you can show a little midriff at the office.

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

@SiriusXMXMUFan @crazycleradin floor is GA split into two sections

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

if by any chance @lucydacus is in a lurking Twitter mood I’d love to try and manifest Christine at TOMORROW’s (Tues) castro show. Hope tonight is beautiful and I promise I’ll be a normal girl no matter but….just in case!! Ask the universe for what you want ya know ❤️🍅

[sam snow⋆❆₊⊹ @sxmswrld]

i don’t want to be “on hinge” i want to be on drugs

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

@Brocklesnitch I have a 🍃 tag on my reviews for this purpose

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

@notanarch1ve cowboy boots! I live in mine and they make any dress I throw on into an outfit

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

someone get these coachella girls a headband. hair in the face for every single performance

[Lena Dunham @lenadunham]

All adventurous women do.

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

and if I said I made breaded chicken and pasta tonight, decided the chicken was missing something, and then improvised an (incredible) basil aioli from scratch? what then?

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

@Mtclai @claudeai @deyoungmuseum no :)

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

@MrsUmaKompton @JimJarmuschHair and then I just chilled for a few

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

i've just done some of the best professional euphemistic rephrasing of my entire career, if you even care

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

@404paigenotfnd I feel this way about a lot of books, but ESPECIALLY this one. And unfortunately I don’t have faith in heder as the director for this one (I also seem to be the only one really not into this casting choice, though I don’t know who I’d choose)

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

@FranziaMom The world needs to know there other magnetic fields songs

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

@prblmtkvegankun @BootsRiley It is :) it’s the SFFILM Festival Centerpiece!

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

@nitehawkcinema @NoBudge hell yeah I love this movie, love that it’s getting a release and some opportunities to be seen in theaters

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

fervent anticipation

[jordan,liketheriver @cigarette_burns]

the universal experience of getting into a car accident and calling your dad