Amanda💥👑💫

Run addict | Mediocre

[邸珥菲 @SAIBdelvi]

For me sekufu is pretty simple.

1. Can use logic & feelings proportionally
2. Can understand others' pov
3. Willing to listen & to explain
4. Willing to give & to receive
5. Educated & having critical thinking
6. Hard worker
7. Communicative
8. Love to learn
9. Have self-control

[Han🍀 @0xhanyfa]

Sangat setuju sama statement ini: jatuh cinta itu harus sama orang yang bikin kita jadi lebih baik. Kalaupun nggak jodoh, setidaknya dia berhasil kasih dampak positif dan bikin kamu grow.

Pilih cowok yang bikin kamu malu kalau males-malesan, ibadahnya bolong, atau nggak berkembang. Dan kalian harus percaya, energy positif itu emang sangat menular.

Coba deh pacaran sama orang yang wawasannya luas, pekerja keras di segala hal. Pasti kamu bakal malu sendiri kalau nggak update diri.

[valentine @valawakened]

I used to think it was important to have common interests with the person that you are in a relationship with but now I think it is more important to be similar in other aspects. like how kind you are. how you treat the people you care about, how you treat strangers. how you deal with anger. how you deal with pain. and not necessarily dealing with all these things the same way but being perceptive enough to understand what action each situation calls for. it's important for both people to be on the same page about what that action should be. it's important to me to have that kind of synchrony.

[paw @marrooenn]

what your type?

yang selalu manggil aku sayangku, cintaku, yang ga suka liat aku nangis, yang ga pernah buat kesepian kalaupun emang sibuk ya harus ngabarin gimana pun caranya, yang sama-sama excited, yang ga gampang akrab sama lawan jenis, yang ga mudah nyepelein hal-hal kecil, yang ngeborong semua love languange.

[Ezra | Psikolog Klinis Dewasa @ezra_putranto]

Siapa yg kalau pacaran jadi nempel terus? Atau bahkan sampe "clingy". Lama-lama semua harus bareng. Pasangan sibuk dikit kamu gelisah, chat nggak dibales kamu udah bikin berspekulasi. Secara psikologi ini bs kita bahas dan ada cara utk melatihnya.

[Jet Veetlev @JetVeetlev]

tahu gak, ada satu jenis kebohongan yang jauh lebih toxic dibanding selingkuh atau bohong sama pasangan, dan sering gak kita sadari?

kebohongan paling berbahaya adalah kebohongan yang kita katakan pada diri sendiri.

"Ah, gak apa-apa kok kalau dia gak peka, yang penting dia baik." (Padahal dalam hati dongkol banget).

"Gak apa-apa deh aku ngalah terus, demi menghindari keributan." (Padahal lama-lama numpuk jadi bom waktu).

Kita sering milih buat menyangkal perasaan sendiri biar kelihatan "baik-baik aja" atau biar dicap sebagai pasangan yang toleran. Ujung-ujungnya, kita terjebak "komunikode", terus ngambek karena berharap pasangan bisa baca pikiran kita. Gak sehat banget, kan?

Menjadi jujur pada diri sendiri adalah langkah awal dan modal utama untuk bisa jujur kepada pasangan.

Sebelum kamu menuntut pasangan buat ngertiin kamu, coba deh duduk tenang dan tanya ke diri sendiri:
◾ Sebenernya, apa sih yang bikin aku kecewa sama dia?
◾ Apa hal yang bener-bener aku butuhin dari hubungan ini supaya aku merasa aman dan bahagia?

Begitu kamu udah "selesai" sama diri sendiri dan berani mengakui apa yang kamu rasain tanpa denial, kamu jadi tahu apa yang perlu dikomunikasikan secara sehat ke pasangan, bukan cuma sekadar emosi sesaat.

[Reads with Ravi @readswithravi]

A reminder from Atomic Habits by James Clear:

“It doesn't make sense to continue wanting something if you're not willing to do what it takes to get it. If you don't want to live the lifestyle, then release yourself from the desire. To crave the result but not the process is to guarantee disappointment.”

[Ava @noampomsky]

this is the number one thing I’ve learned from matchmaking!!! the healthiest people are just like “I want someone cute and smart whom I can communicate well with”

[blue @bluewmist]

Going to leave you with this tonight:
The best thing you can do for yourself is actively increase your surface area for luck to hit you. Go outside, travel more, go to new cates, museums, events, take a new route home, go for hikes, see cities, countrysides, take your notebook, speak to people, ask questions, start businesses - go on more side quests. You can literally just do things, and the more you do, the more serendipity and synchronicity will find you.

[Psikologi Diri @PsikologiDiri]

Indeed!! di psikologi, ini namanya Emotional Intimacy Gap akibat perbedaan tingkat kematangan emosional (EQ). Capeknya bukan karena dia jahat, tapi karena kapasitas emosinya emang belum sampai untuk bisa memvalidasi perasaanmu tanpa merasa diserang. 🧠

[ChiCHI💥 @Chi1113163Chi]

I have lived around and interacted with many healthy married couples. Let me use my family as an example.

My aunt got married at the age of 37+ and is 6 years older than her husband. They have been married for 32 years now. They trained my elder sister from primary school until she completed nursing school and got married. My immediate elder sister has also been married for 11 years and still counting.

Now to my point.

During the time I stayed with my aunt, I noticed that whenever they had an argument about something, the husband would keep off and avoid engaging further until things calmed down. Later, they would sit down and settle the issue peacefully.

My aunt doesn't joke with her husband's siblings. In fact, she was one of the people who supported their growth and careers. It's not because she has a lot of money, but because she is very homely, organized, and coordinated. That is why her husband always reciprocates whenever situations arise that could bring problems between them.

The husband is also a hardworking hustler. I call her Big Mummy because she is a good example of a wife and mother. These two people are determined to build a good home by covering each other's weaknesses with their strengths. They forgive, believe in each other, and work together. There is no controlling behavior or insults between them.

I have many healthy marriages around me. The least among them is 8 years old.

Note: Marriage is not a do-or-die affair. Make sure you put in your best. Don't enter marriage with a mindset of only receiving. Go in with a mindset of building together and contributing your best. Don't compare your marriage with anyone else's. Know your partner's weaknesses and learn how to manage them.

[🥀 @fadedrosesky]

Alhamdulillah, bersyukur banget punya pasangan yang super pengertian dan sabar kayak dia. Tipikal pria yang matang sama isi kepalanya. Mau diajak deep talk bahas hal serius, atau sekadar nanggepin pertanyaan asal bunyiku yang random, dia selalu bisa jawab dengan tenang tanpa pernah bikin aku ngerasa bodoh.

Mendengarkan dia bicara itu bener-bener cara aku buat jatuh cinta berkali-kali pada orang yang sama. Selalu ada ruang buat kagum terus.

Tapi yang paling bikin luluh itu tatapannya. Matanya indah banget, tipe yang selalu kelihatan jernih dan berkaca-kaca penuh rasa sayang tiap kali liat aku. Ditambah kebiasaan dia yang suka ngelus kepala, rasanya hangat banget. Poin plusnya, komunikasi kami tuh tanpa batas, bener-bener bisa diajak ngobrolin apa aja. Menemukan partner diskusi sekaligus tempat bersandar se-nyaman ini tuh rezeki luar biasa.

[𝑨𝒏𝒅𝒓𝒆́𝒔 𝑺𝒊𝒛𝒂 @ArchivoHumanoX]

Cómo enamorarte de tu vida (de nuevo):

1. Sal al exterior todos los días

[Financial Dystopia @financedystop]

Gen Z realizing one of the biggest shocks after college is that life no longer happens around you.

In school, friends, events, relationships, and opportunities are built into your environment.

As an adult, if you don't actively create a social life, weeks can turn into months surprisingly fast.

[Mirai CatsFamily | Steril • Cat Hotel • Transpet @miraicatsfam]

Kalian percaya ga sih manusia makhluk yg flexibel?

Aku punya type pria yang aku sukai.
Tapi karena manusia ga sempurna, jd ketika jatuh cinta karena "wah tipe gue bgt" dan jederrr muncul sifat yg justru ga gue banget jg.

Kaya kalo udh sayang sama orangnya, jadi toleran ke hal yg bukan tipe aku.

Nah disini kuncinya hubungan yg sehat.
Pas nemu pasangan kita ada hal yg ga kita suka, kita coba sampein satu sama lain.
Bukan buat berubah, tapi justru karena sayang itu jd pengen saling nyaman.

Pernah save ini dari X
Kepada siapapun ownernya, plis muncul
Ku suka bgt sama pandangan kamu

[Silentum 🦁 @xKhalifan]

FUNMAXXING

You never learned how to live. Nothing is serious. Talk to people. You can do anything. Tomorrow doesn’t exist. Don’t overthink. Just do it. Create things because why not. Seek novelty. Pursue eternal joy. Play for fun. Give yourself more credit. Be an example of what life can look like.

If you understood the absurdity of everything, your worries would fade, and you would come closer to achieving peace.

Balance is key.

You must learn how to make progress while still making time for fun.

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

This is free advice from an expensive psychologist. If you’re an anxious person, do everything for fun. Go to a job interview for fun. Submit documents for fun. Start a blog for fun. Anxiety feeds on importance. Don’t make everything a matter of life and death.

[Hudya @perogeremmer]

Ketika fase butterfly kita ngerasa dia adalah orang yang kita cari, semuanya kerasa cocok aja.

Tiba-tiba relationship jalan 6 bulan, mulai liat cara dia handle marah atau kondisi struggling, disitulah the real emotion controlnya keliatan.

Ada yang meledak-ledak minta putus, ada yang silent treatment, ada yang tenang bisa diajak diskusi, ada yang butuh waktu beberapa hari.

Kalau kita punya pasangan yang kontrol emosinya aja ngga dewasa, kemungkinan besar akan cost a lot of our sanity kedepannya jika diteruskan.