Stephen K 🌊

IT exec, classical guitar player. English+a little German and even less Japanese. Old white man in Georgia, liberal Democrat atheist. Grandpa of 6.

[Stephen K 🌊 @ciodojo]

I am owns a humidor years old

[Captain Obvious™️ @TheFungi669]

Trump: “I want my face to be chiseled on Mt. Rushmore.”

Me: “Do it yourself, you’re a great chiseler.”

[Lauren Rinaldi 🧚‍♀️ @LRinaldiArt]

Made Jell-O shots to bring to the 4th of July bbq 🤗

[Damon Hunzeker @DamonHunzeker]

We’ve come a long way in 250 years. The Founding Fathers could neither condition nor fry their air.

[The Shallow State @OurShallowState]

The fact that Todd Blanche has refused to comply with the court order to release the Epstein files following Katie Phang's lawsuit, should be a more significant story.
The fact that the Epstein Estate ACTUALLY PAID a settlement to one of the women who alleged that Donald Trump raped her as a minor, and it was paid AFTER Epstein died, as told under oath by Epstein's longtime accountant, should be a more significant story.
The fact that Trump said he wasn't ever on Epstein's plane and now we found out he was, should be a more significant story.
The fact that senior officials gathered in the Situation Room to concoct and coordinate an Epstein coverup should be the most significant story of all.
And when you combine ALL these stories and add to it his hiring of Alex Acosta, the birthday card, the movement of Maxwell to a more lenient facility, and then - especially - his panicked behavior on all things Epstein, it really should be the end of his presidency.

[God @TheTweetOfGod]

Will the owners of a blue planet between Venus and Mars please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

[Mike Pence's Other Mother 🟧🟦🟪 @cooltxchick]

😂😂😂

[octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman]

The smartphone really revolutionized the waiting room. Oh I get 20 minutes to look at my phone? Don’t mind if I do. The only problem is sometimes when I’m looking at my phone at home my home starts to feel like a waiting room and I realize it is and I’m just waiting to die

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

MS NOW put together a supercut of Lutnick, Bessent, and Hassett continually moving the goalposts and always saying that some future quarter will have spectacular economic growth

[Covie @covie_93]

The Justice Department indicted someone for touching the reflecting pool on the same day the DOJ refused to comply with a judge's order to release more epstein files.

[joey @joboduj]

officer i had no idea i was even driving

[Stephen K 🌊 @ciodojo]

Black mirror accurate

[madiiiii ⋆.˚⟡ ࣪ ˖ @madsdanae]

if you see me double fisting beers and hotdogs on saturday please know I’m celebrating beer and hotdogs and not this black mirror episode of a country

[Jack Hopkins @thejackhopkins]

A foreign monarchy handed the President a $400 MILLION jet.
Wednesday, it becomes Air Force One.
Friday, it leads the July 4th flyover for America's 250th birthday.
A gift from Qatar. Flying the President. On Independence Day.
Let that one sink in, friend.

[Miss Ally @MissAlly_01]

Anyone else walk to their airport gate to visually confirm it exists before going to find food?

Or is that just me?

[Sam Youngman @samyoungman]

Last year, the president of the United States asked Americans to sacrifice for his tariffs while he pocketed $2 billion.

[𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕖_𝔾𝕦𝕣𝕝 @SundaeDivine]

@atrupar The Biden plan: make America France.

Step one: healthcare.
Step two: tiny coffees.
Step three: everyone is hotter than us and somehow still less sweaty.

[Horatio Quartzjixler @Quartzjixler]

Her vagina is like a Huey Lewis song - everyone was familiar with it in the 80s but now its appeal is largely nostalgia-driven.

[Sawyer Hackett @SawyerHackett]

Every one of Donald Trump’s kids was born to a pregnant immigrant on a visa

[Jamie Bonkiewicz @JamieBonkiewicz]

It’s fucking obscene that elected officials can disappear for weeks or months, collect taxpayer-funded paychecks, and still keep their jobs.

[💙🌊 Zero Dark Twenty-Nine 🌊🌊🖋️🧫 @herotimeszero]

Today Trump mentioned a threesome involving his sons and said that he had a conversation with Theodore Roosevelt. I'm not a therapist but I think every book on mental illness says, "If patient mentions threesome with sons and a conversation with someone who died in 1919, slowly back away and press the red button."