Impractical Muser

Sarcastic. Dark Humored.
Totally aMUSEd by .....Impractical Jokers, Muse, Linkin Park, RHCP & System of a Down. 🎶Music & Laughter make everything better. 💕

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

Every time I go to Google search, my phone automatically takes me to Tinder.
Is this my phone's way of saying, "please find yourself a man, so you can spend the night on him, instead of me"?

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@SantaDrunk316 @Cathyldemelo @cjquinn368 @candidqueso @carriebear421 @CeleBraySchenn @cherylt2000 @cinnabbomb @copfunnywife @com3t0think0fit @ColesWorrld @MollyCocktail @coldd_casee @CrimsonEscape @WKatCrook @DCAmyChick @DesignIsabelle @ddsmidt @Czexabella @bylinetd Thank you Santa!!
It's been a long time....
But you still remember me.

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@2_bago Oooo....vein porn.
I'm a phlebotomist now.
I started last week.
Come see me.

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@SantaDrunk316 @harnessdhashtag @HelenMaryMe @Unclerodak @HeyItsChris412 @heyjacqui_ @happyfreaks1 @childofthewild7 @JesykaMari @RachelJuly16 @_littlemissJ__ @klf113 @sweatsntopknots @LiLiReynolds @nancyhilda1 @noBSzone @AmyInJetsLand @Nessa_Star4 @letstrytomorrow Much love, Santa.

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@SantaDrunk316 @herprettybones @HeyokaMuse @harnessdhashtag @halimichele15 @Kaybaby11142 @itsmeCT37 @TeamBobbyEwing @Iamn0ty0urstar @spiffy_iffy1 @its_ameAlia @ImJenHanson @Iamchelecalonia @illuminateddino @judyp73 @JesykaMari @justsomegirl81 @KC_Sass @PrtyLittleGypsy Oops, I mean Santa.
This Benadryl is kicking my ass.

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@SantaDrunk316 @herprettybones @HeyokaMuse @harnessdhashtag @halimichele15 @Kaybaby11142 @itsmeCT37 @TeamBobbyEwing @Iamn0ty0urstar @spiffy_iffy1 @its_ameAlia @ImJenHanson @Iamchelecalonia @illuminateddino @judyp73 @JesykaMari @justsomegirl81 @KC_Sass @PrtyLittleGypsy Belated thanks, Sanra!

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@CReed09291959 So true.

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

Anyone else here think that love absolutely fucking sucks?

Yea, me too.

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@SantaDrunk316 Would it be too much to ask 🎅to shove a 🎄up someone's ass for me?

*asking for a friend, of course.

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@KatamanP Curious
Plus misery loves company

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@SGTDrunk19 @LynHutchinson @SillySassySmart @Kaybaby11142 @thugliza @HummBaby40 @lizscher @itsmeCT37 @Ibtbanksy @IamEveryDayPpl @ImCriss @StitesMelissa @illuminateddino @BeyondIllusions @ImJenHanson @dimestorec0wgrl @emmm888 @_realgoodvibes_ @itsmeLOC Is there still a party going on in the tent? I could use a drink. 🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸🍸 or several

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@SGTDrunk19 @LynHutchinson @SillySassySmart @Kaybaby11142 @thugliza @HummBaby40 @lizscher @itsmeCT37 @Ibtbanksy @IamEveryDayPpl @ImCriss @StitesMelissa @illuminateddino @BeyondIllusions @ImJenHanson @dimestorec0wgrl @emmm888 @_realgoodvibes_ @itsmeLOC Happy belated Memorial Day, Sarge.

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

Oh, yes. System of a Down was in town.
Did any of you go......@soadpeephole ?

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@SGTDrunk19 @mellowdeebrooks @jbrownfield2021 @houghtlingbri @dahoneymom @mermaidmommy94 @CardiBree81 @brifui15 @brookeas_ @xmillrunner @BriteCorazon @greeneyedlefti @BSTeGz @RaylaRimpson @busty_mcchesty @ImCriss @chasity_kerr @desiree_heffner @kat_tolliver

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@SGTDrunk19 @BrenDee85 @jbrownfield2021 @mellowdeebrooks @mamabridgee @houghtlingbri @dahoneymom @CardiBree81 @mermaidmommy94 @brifui15 @brookeas_ @BriteCorazon @BSTeGz @greeneyedlefti @sharonpjb72 @RaylaRimpson @CLeefan @chasity_kerr @CaliSun34 @DebsNYGiants69 Awesome, Sarge. Thank you. 💋

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

Does this mind make me look crazy?

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@Mr1189 Those might just be age spots
😂😂😂😂

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

Why is that eggplant emoji so popular when representing a penis? It's purple & looks either like it has some exotic & rare STD or it's just sad, cold & lonely. Clearly, there are better choices, but that's just my opinion.
🍄🍌

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@Interruptweets @Q101Chicago @laurenoneil
Thank you for introducing me to such an awesome song & awesome band!

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@jamessmurray Happy Birthday, Murr!!

[Impractical Muser @citizencydonia]

@SantaDrunk316 @DCLOVESJL @Cbp8Cindy @cinnabbomb @EdwinaCrumple @zinni426 @CLEsportsGAL @Calamity_clr @Miacortesse @ColesWorrld @thistallawkgirl @CortneyBurrough @CourttyyP3 @CarolineonTV @Cute_Cthulhu @thecupcakegirl8 @SweetNisCupcake @Shari_Curry_Fan @JCurtin19 You rock, Santa. Thank you! 😚