C. Jason Sanders

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

Was I the only one who saw @LilNasX bust a zipper going low on the pole during his @nbcsnl performance? He held his junk inside for the final 30 seconds of that performance. #dedication

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

@SaraMichutka @therealelp "You can all run naked backwards through a field of dicks" was either brutal or a fantasy depending on your sexuality. But "fuck a boss, I'm the owner and I smell like YSL and marijuana." Is a mood.

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

@dgl I want my remains spread across my favorite beach, but don't cremate me.

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

The GOP are Star Wars geeks that love the brutality of the Empire and that stormtroopers are white, but can't root for Vader b/c he's black.

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

GOP went from nitpicking every detail of Obama's life story to whining like little bitches when someone factchecks Carson's book. #pussies

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

So the GOP has evolved from "the questions were too hard!" to "don't fact check me!". Because it gets easier when you get the job, right?

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

Carson is brave. How many times did he hide his rejection of basic science to become a surgeon? every biology test he took, every last one.

[Jay @CrassKicker]

A GOP primary moderated by Limbaugh and Hannity would include so much ass kissing it would be tagged as gay porn.

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

GOP candidates, you know who else complains about the refs after a loss? Losers.

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

The reason some people on the right are so upset about #Denali is that it reminds them they are decedents of #AnchorBabies #deportyourself

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

"Bush don't like black people" by Legendary K.O. https://t.co/iMaFmTb0LQ via @YouTube
#TBT #Katrina10

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

Trump inherited $400 mill from his slum lord dad and bought a couple Jersey casinos, declared bankruptcy x5, and tells America "trust me"

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

Trump is a boy born on 3rd base who thinks he hit a homerun, preening at the plate, not realizing it was a Special Olympics kickball game.

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

I need a facebook app that weekly reviews the post of all my high school "friends" and then recommends the 3 most racists to block. #purge

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

#627 of how the world hates on lefties; thumb scrolling on Facebook leads to many accidental likes.

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

While I will miss #TDS, I take comfort in the fact that I knew I was watching entertaining but fake news, unlike #FoxNews viewers.

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

No, having a fire extinguisher is not the same as your firearm. When is last time there was a theater slaughter with a fire extinguisher.

[Ricky Gervais @rickygervais]

Faith healers don't get jobs in hospitals for the same reason that psychics don't win the lottery every week.

[C. Jason Sanders @cjasonsanders]

Everyone bitching about PP donating fetal tissue better turn in their donor cards & start picketing transplant centers or I'm calling B.S.

[Jay @CrassKicker]

Every month, my girl is too tired for sex on workdays (12), needs sleep on nights before work (12), and "that" week is surely out (7). (31)