CJ Landry

I got held back in kindergarten.

[Big Laugh Comedy @BigLaughComedy]

@CJLandryComic cracking us up on @MichaelLenoci & Friends last week 🔥 See what we've got coming up this week --> https://t.co/dC9QBgMgHv

[Mary Picarazzi (ta/co) @MaryPicarazzi]

Yesss!!! @cjlandrycomic and Avery Moore!!!!

[Jeremiah Watkins @jeremiahstandup]

If you are a comic/friend reading this your retweet would be huge. Just dropped my new Stand-Up On The Spot special (Self-Produced so I appreciate the support!) feat. William Montgomery, @dericposton @cjlandrycomic & Avery Moore. Watch here for FREE: https://t.co/hgtkpMI3aV

[Jeremiah Watkins @jeremiahstandup]

THIS MONDAY my next @standupots special comes out feat. @WMintgimery @dericposton @cjlandrycomic & Avery Moore Subscribe and watch for free at https://t.co/in8IGEfpQh 3/21 4pm PST

[Jeremiah Watkins @jeremiahstandup]

I’m so hyped for this NEW @standupots Special! Feat. @dericposton @cjlandrycomic Avery Moore & @WMintgimery
3-21 FREE on my YouTube channel
Subscribe now at https://t.co/MUaHfe18Tl

[Jeremiah Watkins @jeremiahstandup]

HOUSTON we comin in hot! 🔥 First time bringing @standupots to your city. Come be a part of it. Get tix here: https://t.co/aoOkoqYshZ Feat. @WMintgimery @cjlandrycomic @dericposton Next Friday!

[CJ Landry @cjlandrycomic]

If the meteor hit us today don't say Leonardo DiCaprio didn't warn you people.

[CJ Landry @cjlandrycomic]

I looked up how to get back with an ex and one of the tips was to not act desperate. So if googling advice for two hours isn't desperate I'm doing well so far.

[CJ Landry @cjlandrycomic]

I love when people talk to me after shows and assume I'm doing so much better than I am financially even though they just watched me do three driving Uber jokes in a row.

[CJ Landry @cjlandrycomic]

Disc golf is only gay if you make eye contact.

[Mike Falzone @MikeFalzone]

Cute-cute squad at @vulcanatx in Austin, TX | 10.23.2021

[CJ Landry @cjlandrycomic]

Demi Lovato went from doing drugs to making a documentary about her drug use, to trying to sing to aliens, and now she's doing a documentary about aliens. Safe to say, I think she's on drugs again.

[CJ Landry @cjlandrycomic]

If a comic says "Alright, I'm gonna say something controversial" prepare to be bamboozled.

[CJ Landry @cjlandrycomic]

@TheBreckening Do they cum tho?

[CJ Landry @cjlandrycomic]

The cherry on top for a dad joke is to ask everyone around if they heard you say it then repeat it.

[CJ Landry @cjlandrycomic]

We should send Bama to beat the Taliban.

[CJ Landry @cjlandrycomic]

@ItsclintonT I couldn't tell. Her face was all squinched up cuz she was smelling my hot dump.

[CJ Landry @cjlandrycomic]

A woman walked in on me shitting in a gender neutral bathroom. We're one step closer to equality.

[CJ Landry @cjlandrycomic]

Every white guy in Denver looks like he's sponsored by Patagonia and owns a brewery.

[CJ Landry @cjlandrycomic]

I thought kids weren't allowed to get hit in public anymore until I took a Spirit flight.