Calvin Morris

barely coherent

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

@WhiteHouse it's been a couple days and they've just left this here. as-is. fascinating.

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

@Aidvantage hey fuck you try to figure out how to actually vet applicants. it's 2026. scammers opening shit in my name should not happen. do your fucking job.

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

@DECKED i want this for an SUV. specifically an audi q7. imagine how organized all my children's crap will be and how amazed they will be that dad didn't forget their fav *whatever* again...

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

every time i swipe down on my home screen the suggested shortcut is Identify Plant, so that's an accurate summary of what i've been up to this spring

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

i'm not sure the Green Goblin is a good character to have on a Band-Aid

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

happy "stayed up too late because playoffs" season to all who celebrate

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

if the speed limit on the road is 30 i feel like i shouldn't have to slow to 10 for my car to survive the speed bump

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

personally, i think Cheerios smell bad

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

and also my stupid state legislators are trying to kill the hemp industry in our state because they do not understand how anything works

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

it is the year 2025

i am no longer allowed to order snus from my fav swedish seller because of the FDA.

i have ordered 3 items from US sellers online this month, all have shipped USPS and all of them are lost.

get it together y'all

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

i desperately want to see the team behind the Spiderverse movies make movies of all the Chronicles of Narnia

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

Illumination made the best Grinch movie

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

they say don't drink the water but i really like topo chico

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

went to @RestaurantIris tonight and it's just absolutely incredible y'all. go tomorrow

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

just casually refreshing xwitter to make sure Ja isn't like hurt hurt (someone please tell me)

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

there was a time before shichimi togarashi. and now is the time after where i’d probably try it on breakfast cereal.

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

oh man i sure am glad political groups are texting me about election day. had no idea, almost missed it.

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

y’all should follow @joeswines and subscribe to their email list. great content (love the “cocktail of the week” stories)!

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

2yo in the bathroom: “why do i have a tortilla in here?!”

not a question i can answer

[Calvin Morris @cjmox]

did the hey dot com email thing work out?