CJ Van O

In third grade, I finished second in a school wide broad jump competition.

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

@NoLayingUp Is the Grant Thornton commercial the perfect summary of the 2022 Players?
- Same commercial every 10 min for a year
- Players taking 20 min to judge the wind
- Realizing "it's not coming back" once the ball is in the air
- Rickie not playing

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

@HenryStapp @NoLayingUp Haha no it was found in an attic and given as a joke

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

Not an issue I thought I’d have to deal with

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

Last year my dad gave me pajamas and they are fantastic, best I’ve ever had. But somehow they are Kevin hart branded and now I think I have a moral obligation to find new pajamas?

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

“What about Opdivo for my non-small cell lung cancer?”
Doctor: “Oh shit I totally forgot about that one. Good call dude.”

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

I appreciate the sentiment, but I need to know how many twice baked potatoes to make, are you gonna be here or not?

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

Whoever wrote “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” had no idea how RSVPs work. “If only in my dreams” is not an option.

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

@chrisdinardo1 so like one evening and one morning from now?

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

@_camoore I want to meet the player that bites on a Jackson Simmons pump fake from deep

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

"Oh, I'm a dragon? For real? Yeah, I'm definitely not going to work ever again."

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

If I were a dragon, I would retire the moment I realized I was a dragon. Bruno Mars would have no impact on my decision.

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

It might be an unpopular opinion, but I think Solomon just got lucky that one of those women was so transparently insane

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

@chrisdinardo1 Back in the saddle or fell off the wagon?

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

Im really intrigued by what homeless people write on their signs, but don't want to look and risk making eye contact. So yeah, life is hard.

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

I hired Rust Cohle to decorate my new apartment.

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

I'm only 6'1, but my game has been described as Kevin love-esque. What size meal can I expect from Taco Bell's XXL steak nachos?

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

At the Air and Space Museum, but no sign of the mission patch Harry Stamper gave to AJ to give to Truman in Armageddon. What a sham.

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

Quirinius has got to be the greatest governor of Syria. You could make the argument for Aulus Gabinus, but I'll always be #teamquirinius

[CJ Van O @cjvano]

@petergerolamo