His Faye

Oh hi, I'm Faye, welcome to my bio. Cup of tea? @Gizmo_1984 makes every day special.

[His Faye @clemwin]

"And this ...... this is where the magic happens"

*Winks*
*Opens bedroom door*
*Doves fly out. There's a stampede of white rabbits*

[His Faye @clemwin]

@SelenaMaranjian thank you !!!

[Arena Flowers @ArenaFlowers]

Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown but only 13 muscles to smile while secretly dying inside.

[Spazio🇵🇸 @Spaziotwat]

Twitter is great but have you tried shouting on the bus?

[The Notorious B.E.V. 🌈 @blade_funner]

I lay in the wreckage, deeply regretting my daily apple. The doctors stand in a ring, unable to come any closer.

[stace @thisgirlstace]

I'm thinking of replacing my uterus with a gum ball machine.

[stace @thisgirlstace]

"You have beautiful big brown eyes!
They look like meatballs."

-me, flirting

[BadFabergé @ipalatsky]

Stop embarrassing yourself in public. I thought we agreed that I do it better.

[Fickle Filly @Fickle_Filly]

Welcome to your 40s.

Add 'gravity' to your list of enemies.

[trajectory unknown @trajectoryuk]

if you look into that girls eyes for long enough you will see empty porch swings, burning nebulas and ancient abandoned cities

[His Faye @clemwin]

"It's Valentine's Day! What outfit tonight?? Yay, so pretty!! OMG Sweetie, I'm so excited for you!! Anyhoo, here's your period"

- My Uterus

[Arena Flowers @ArenaFlowers]

Yearly reminder of How To Nail A Job Interview.

[BridgetJones @nevernicethings]

I'm coming for you, seemingly unobtainable personal goal.

[Island Girl @_Water_Baby]

A woman is only a mystery to a man that is not paying attention.

[Arena Flowers @ArenaFlowers]

If Ann has 10 apples and Joe has 15 oranges, is it possible they’re trying to make extra cash at lunchtime by selling fruit in the car park?

[𝙹𝚊𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚍 ❄️ @zomboy666]

Robocop: part man, part machine - ALL COP

Me: part ‘man’, part blancmange - ALL EXHAUSTED