TY$ON

Tits in bio.

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

I love watching a video of cute doggos then twitter autoscrolls to someone getting shot 7 times 🥰

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

I love watching a video of cute doggos then twitter autoscrolls to someone getting shot 7 times 🥰

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

@ibcruella @AzPetrich lol are you dense?

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

@PlayStation The likes out weigh the comments this ain’t good

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

@realshlippi @Liberty_Xtreme I can’t believe yall try and use antifa as an insult, fuckin mind boggling

[grace @emodoll53]

🩸🖤

[Wealdgenga @wealdgenga]

@virkokka @LFauexProd Why would God be the same as a book character

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

When I’m playing black ops and my kid tells me he just threw up

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

@RT_com You missed a spot on his neck

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

How many ppl have the pic of him edited like this just waiting to be posted I wonder

[Did Donald Trump Die Today? @DidDTrumpDie]

No, but Lindsey Graham did

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

@Legends6K Dude fr they completely ruined the menu system I was just thinking that last night on bo1 when my player card was RIGHT THERE not 4 tabs away

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

@boardyai

[Kade ☧🇻🇦 @Smith_Everitt]

Didn’t Matthew Patthew say that this video could theoretically outlast the entire universe?

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

We need a new credible tv awards show

[doctor idk @bigmonkeong]

0 emmys between the two of them btw

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

@bigmonkeong We need a new credible tv awards show

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

@xMBGx No

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

@PlayStation They really set up auto posts and shut off notifications fr

[TY$ON @clichebongrip]

@ghoastdad “I put Molly all in her drink, yk she ain’t know that”

[⋆˚࿔ Kiny 𖤐 @invaderkiny]

Fuck Ice
They rape women and children
They're murderers
They're cowards