Clive Iverson

I am surprisingly less homosexual than my mother gives me credit for. Nonetheless, I'm single. - Eugene, Oregon's finest comedian - Deeply Catholic, well sorta

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

@kfitzsports One again earning the title of No Fun League

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

I decided to donate my body to science. Turns out I have to be dead first.

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

I'm sad to hear of the passing of Norm Macdonald. I still remember when he gave Conan a gift basket congratulating him for getting the tonight show after it had already been announced he would be moving on. Norm had true comedic timing. You will be missed. RIP.

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

A nice lil tiky tok

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

I think they should make brillow pads in fingernail strength.

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

I'm sick and tired of constantly being objectified. Earlier today I was objectified as a dusty cardboard box.

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

I am not a big fan of @babybel cheese. It always taste so waxy.

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

Bringing new meaning to the phrase "depression is hard".

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

As if depression isn't already hard enough. Now people are gonna ask me how I'm feeling today and I'll have to answer while hiding my boner.

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

I think I'm going to create a petition that all books have to be the same height and depth. Who's with me?
#fightthegoodfight #writerscommunity

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

The @Broncos don't have any quarterbacks eligible for today's game. Bring back @TimTebow.

#TebowTime

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

@BYUfootball had a good game today against Northern Alabama Middle School.
@espn

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

How did @JoeBiden make it this far and I am just barely finding out his middle name is robinette?!
#mindblown #JoeBiden #PresidentElect #2020Election

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

Go vote. Go vote. Go vote.
#Election2020 #VOTE #Vote2020

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

I just crapped my pants for the second time today. I'm in my 30s. How's your day going?

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

Anyone else spend 90% of the time on a zoom call just looking at themself in the camera?
Asking for a friend.

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

Just took my car in for a carwash. Turns out the bugs on the front are permanent.

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

@josh_wingrove @PressSec This is messed up.

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

@JimCarrey Stand back and stand by. Smh

[Clive Iverson @clivecomedy]

The fixer of hair and souls.
You know . . . a hair rapist.