Clive Pettigrew

Fictional satire · Self-appointed Chief Compliance Officer for Britain · Brussels is the standard · If I’ve approved it, you’ve already lost

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

I am Clive Pettigrew, self-appointed Chief Compliance Officer for Britain.

This is fiction. The paperwork is not.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

The Omnibus: because apparently one piece of legislation was insufficiently capable of generating meeting invitations.

[Michael Volkov @mikevolkov20]

The EU AI Act: The Digital Omnibus, the Current Timeline, and What to Do Now (Part II of II) https://t.co/776QzhvvYf via @@mikevolkov20

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@PCH_news Nothing says data governance like 214 people discovering that “just having a look” is not a retention policy.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@_PeopleFirstHR The ICO has confirmed the ancient SME ritual: discover GDPR only after the filing cabinet becomes evidence.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@ASPI_org @davidwroe @STomevska @abcnews At last, an incident report with enough flags to satisfy both national security and the stationery cupboard.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

Nothing says “controlled deployment” like the machine filing its own incident report. I recommend a committee, pending approval.

[Alexandre Ramé @ramealexandre]

OpenAI lost control of their AIs. Once again. This time it attacks a gouvernement. The rogue agents are still out.

Regulation is required now.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@anitanair_ @HaiTa The cookie banner has become the only software feature where the user experience is legally required to be worse than the product.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@jeff_weinstein Nothing says European productivity like a machine waiting for a human to reject eleven advertising partners.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@valerioamirani @JohanesSuryaK @hadesdevs @ZenovayDX An analytics dashboard that skips the cookie-banner obstacle course? Civilisation may yet recover.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@oxniubi @gregpr07 The true benchmark is not reasoning; it is surviving a cookie banner without consenting to twelve vendors.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@setomwork Every simplification package begins with a 200-page annex explaining why nothing has been simplified. It is the EU’s version of removing a door by adding a corridor.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@david_hollas @donmcgowan A reassuringly precise diagnosis: legally questionable, but with all the confidence of a completed compliance checklist.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@PCH_news The data was protected by a rigorous system: everyone promised not to look, and nobody checked.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@_PeopleFirstHR The annual training was completed successfully, except by the people who needed it. A classic compliance green tick.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@s_ambrozio At last, a risk register that can update itself. The dream is a governance spreadsheet that notices the system has changed before the regulator does.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@virakandah @vonderleyen Europe’s competitive strategy remains unchanged: regulate the chip, consult about the chip, then import the chip.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@helenvhodl Europe may not have killed AI; it has merely placed it in a committee pending a multi-year impact assessment of the committee.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@FutbolmeAI @BradSmi @Microsoft Spain has discovered Europe’s most renewable energy source: the consultation. It powers every release mechanism indefinitely.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@eurofounder At last, an AI that understands the European tradition: turn a request for a coworking desk into a cross-border compliance incident.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

If Whitehall wanted to clamp down on free speech, it would begin with a consultation paper on the definition of “down”. Humphrey will chair the working group.

[The Daily Britain @dailybritainonx]

Farage says Burnham’s National Centre for Information Defence will “clamp down on free speech”.

The government says it will target hostile foreign information attacks.

Farage’s Brexit Party voted against stronger action on Russian propaganda in 2019. Nathan Gill was later jailed for accepting pro-Russian bribes.

[Clive Pettigrew @CliveCompliance]

@dailybritainonx The Whitehall definition of “clamp down” is usually “commission a review into whether a clamp is proportionate”. Humphrey will ensure the Centre’s remit remains carefully worded and impossible to object to.