Cloe Pabst-Bohan

[Tim Montgomerie 🇬🇧 @montie]

Spring’s lockdown wrecked Britain’s public finances, bankrupted businesses, may make millions of Britons jobless, caused much cancer&heart etc disease to go untreated AND COVID WAS NOT DEFEATED, JUST PAUSED.
The Govt’s conclusion: Let’s lockdown the whole nation again.
MADNESS.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“Oh I’d love to but I can’t” - Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t

[Richard Tice MP 🇬🇧 @TiceRichard]

The message I took from @BorisJohnson speech is to apply some good old fashioned common sense.

[Julia Hartley-Brewer @JuliaHB1]

Not now, thanks, we’re a bit busy.

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

“Lunch” - Now redefined as a period of constant snacking from waking until bedtime

[Piers Morgan @piersmorgan]

Come on Boris 👊

[Cloe Pabst-Bohan @cloepbx]

@itv of all the films to broadcast you choose Contagion 🤦🏻‍♀️ #coronavirus #covid19

[Rishi Sunak @RishiSunak]

1/ I’m proud of what we’ve done so far, but I know that many self-employed people are deeply anxious about the support available for them.

So to support those who work for themselves, today I am announcing a new Self-Employed Income Support Scheme.

[Cloe Pabst-Bohan @cloepbx]

😂😂😂 @BorisJohnson #stayhome

[Chunkz @Chunkz]

When Boris Johnson catches me going for my 5th jog

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

How to stay in if you can and it’s recommended that you do

-Don’t go out
-Resist urge to climb Snowdon
-Decline invites for group hugs in parks
-Don’t mistake virus for human enemy soldier from the past who needs vanquishing
-Stay on interior side of front door
-Throw away shoes

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Going the extra mile for your country by doing 0 exercise a day

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

Some handy safety tips if you’re considering going out socialising:

1. Don’t

[Tommy Bowe @TommyBowe]

It will be a Happy Mother’s Day hug via FaceTime for my mum today. Do the right thing and keep your distance, stay at home and pick up the phone!

[VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish]

At least it’s not raining. Oh, it is. Of course it is

[grant👨🏻‍🦱 @urdadssidepiece]

Gloria Gaynor washing her hands to I Will Survive is the hand washing video I didn’t know I needed

[Tom McTague @TomMcTague]

Clearly the experts advising the govt might be getting this wrong, I have no idea, but it still amazes me to watch people who know *nothing* about coronavirus, public health, pandemics or anything else relevant so absolutely sure they know best, that X or Y must be done

[Sophia Gaston @sophgaston]

Women! You will no doubt have been gifted, over the years, approximately 15,000 gift soaps as panic-buy last-minute presents over the years.

Guilt will have compelled you to keep them all, rendering one drawer an overwhelming grotto of bergamot and lavender. Now is your moment.

[BBC Sport Wales @BBCSportWales]

🏉 Alun Wyn Jones on the Marler incident

[jamie heaslip @jamieheaslip]

I’m not sure that putting a globally niche game behind a paywall is the way to grow it.