Spring’s lockdown wrecked Britain’s public finances, bankrupted businesses, may make millions of Britons jobless, caused much cancer&heart etc disease to go untreated AND COVID WAS NOT DEFEATED, JUST PAUSED.
The Govt’s conclusion: Let’s lockdown the whole nation again.
MADNESS.
1/ I’m proud of what we’ve done so far, but I know that many self-employed people are deeply anxious about the support available for them.
So to support those who work for themselves, today I am announcing a new Self-Employed Income Support Scheme.
How to stay in if you can and it’s recommended that you do
-Don’t go out
-Resist urge to climb Snowdon
-Decline invites for group hugs in parks
-Don’t mistake virus for human enemy soldier from the past who needs vanquishing
-Stay on interior side of front door
-Throw away shoes
Clearly the experts advising the govt might be getting this wrong, I have no idea, but it still amazes me to watch people who know *nothing* about coronavirus, public health, pandemics or anything else relevant so absolutely sure they know best, that X or Y must be done
Women! You will no doubt have been gifted, over the years, approximately 15,000 gift soaps as panic-buy last-minute presents over the years.
Guilt will have compelled you to keep them all, rendering one drawer an overwhelming grotto of bergamot and lavender. Now is your moment.