CLT Updates

The latest updates on Charlotte, NC, a city fighting desperately to remain humorless and mediocre.

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Ahead of a new jersey design, the Panthers unveil their new mascot.

Sir Poontang!

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In honor of the passing of Jerry Richardson, the Panthers have declared tomorrow Jeans Friday.

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WARNING GRAPHIC VIDEO: We have obtained disturbing footage of Sir Purr unaliving himself following yesterday’s loss to the Buccaneers.

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Disgusting. Kanye West tells Alex Jones that he “sees good things about Matt Rhule.”

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I'm not thankful for any of you.

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@thatcrazycaniac @CLTdevelopment Why does no one want to go to Raleigh? Our sources tell us it is boring.

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EXCLUSIVE: Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour will be skipping Bank of America Stadium because the star is concerned about safety issues raised by artificial turf.

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ALL CLEAR: Officers have clarified that there is no serial killer in Charlotte, just a slightly awkward guy who wants to watch some movies and take some pictures.

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The star said “I heard Garth Brooks got turf toe, and Mick Jagger’s chicken dance lead to Lisfranc. I can’t risk a non-contact injury.”

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We’d like to take this moment to thank Elon Musk for letting us back on Twitter to report REAL news in Charlotte. Coming soon: our exposé on which city council members have an OnlyFans.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if Trump is coming back on this platform, Twitter would be minting money!

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Mason Plumlee… the last great white hope for Charlotte sports fans.

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Breaking! Scandal rocks Charlotte City Council.

Today we learned that local government is embroiled in an HR scandal, ten council members were caught chatting on a group chat called "No Dimple Allowed."

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@_scottjohnson Source?

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Locally sourced. Click below to find Big Mommy Milkers in your area.

https://t.co/LK0twRPUOd

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Untapped Beer Festival is back, but it won’t collapse into a disaster like last time. Source: the press release the festival sent us which we are now republishing.

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BREAKING: Generic Northern transplants rejoice at the news of WaWa's expansion to NC. "It's amazing," says Phoenixville, PA-born, Plaza-Shamrock bond trader Ryan Taylor, "Charlotte's forever advancing culinary scene will not just have one gas station with ok food, but two!"

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@JoeBrunoWSOC9 @wsoctv a gas station