If you ask me for money and I don't reply,
please don't assume it's arrogance or that I'm
ignoring you.
Sometimes I simply don't have it, and I may not
be comfortable explaining why because not
every personal struggle needs to be shared for
my "no" to be valid. Please respect my silence
as much as you would respect my honesty 🙏🏽
Never beg someone to be in your life. If your love and emotions get ignored, do yourself a favor and walk away. You're worth so much more than what people have unfortunately made you believe. Wait to be with someone who cherishes you and is proud to have you with every day that passes. Someone who actually knows your worth. Someone who is there for you and genuinely wants to know your heart's needs and desires. This is what your life needs.
You're free to argue this, but let me say it.
The best marriage to have as a man is a marriage where:
1. You're more educated and enlightened than your wife.
2. You're richer than your wife.
3. You're older than your wife.
4. Your wife is not from a family that depends on you for their survival.
5. Your wife is not religious and seldom keeps friends.
6. Your wife is a housewife or works where she still has time to be a present mother.
7. Your wife is from a stable home where the parents are still together, but it's not her mother that is the main provider or the one that calls the shot.
8. All her sisters (especially elder sisters) are married.
9. She spends time to teach the children and takes pride in their achievement.
10. She doesn't deprive you of sex and makes sure that her vagina and home is always clean for you.
11. She doesn't have an ex or she doesn't keep in touch with her exes.
12. She doesn't enable you as her husband and wishes to push you further than she has gotten to.
13. She puts you on your toes and you cannot afford to fail her because of the value that she brings to your life.
14. She knows that you have cheated on her, but turns a blind eye, as long as you're not rubbing it on her face and you put your family first in all thy doings.
15. She knows who you are, but will never use your secrets against you. And even if the marriage doesn't work out, she'll always speak good of you because she believes and trusts that you'll always speak good of her.
End.
Take your well-being seriously.
Money is important, but so is your health.
Don't be so fixated on your finances that you forget to take care of yourself.
If anything happens to you, someone else will enjoy what you have worked so hard to build or acquire.
Also, one ailment can wipe out years of wealth building.
Take some time to relax when necessary, maintain a healthy diet, check your blood pressure, visit doctor and go for checkups.
Life is very short & whatever you have here stays here.
It is one thing to dream about something and it is another thing to achieve it.
Most times, we end up being only dreamers because we don't want to put in the required efforts to achieve our dreams.
Don't just be a dreamer, be a doer.
Things won't change except you take action.
Nobody is stingy. People work hard for their money. If you think someone is stingy simply because they choose how to spend their own money, then you are the problem.
Some people rush into marriage because they see it as an achievement and a way to get constant sex.
only to find out a few months or years down the line that it's not what it seems or promised to be.
They are full of regrets and what-ifs...
Marriage is only an achievement when it's done right with the right person.
Some have rushed into it only to realize they've made the biggest mistake of their lives and rushed out again, even those are the lucky ones.
Marriage is your extension as a person if you lack in any area, it's reflected in your home and matrimony.
Your home becomes your hell and every passing interaction with your partner becomes a growing torment.
"If you marry the wrong person, you experience your first hell on earth"
The worst thing that can happen to you is to be where you don't want to be, confined within the words of your vows & living in a prison of your own creation, where your deepest, darkest fears come out to play.
It's disappointing as a man to provide & protect a woman who's ungrateful and unworthy of your sacrifices because your duty as husband demands it of you.
For the woman, her obligations & submission come with resentment and she's bound to seek succor in the bossom of other men cos her home has become her greatest nightmare, and the man she said "I do" to has become the biggest obstacle to her happiness...or so she'll think.
You see, women are loyal to their feelings and getting married doesn't take away the hypergamy in her nature, she'll not hesitate to ruin you even if she has to ruin herself to do it and she'll still blame you for it.
As a man who's intent on starting a family someday, choosing the mother of your children is one of the most important choices you'll make.
Every man must take time to vet properly without being rushed into it cos of societal pressure, peer pressure, or sexual favors.
"You either get a woman who will mother your children or the woman who will murder them" - @Bqmbulu
When you give your commitment cheaply to the wrong woman you also give away your unborn children's future.
That's why you must take your time to know the woman in your life, in your search, endeavor to look beyond outward beauty & see within her inner virtues, family values & background.
What's in her head is far more important than the hair on her head.
The quality of her character must trump the Melody of her voice.
The beauty of her heart is more important than her facial attributes cos it's the only beauty that lasts when all else is gone.
The workings of her mind are more important than the movement of her curves.
I could go on & on but I'm sure you get the picture.
Actions have consequences even when we never know the consequences of the acts we commit,
but marriage is one action the consequences never fail to catch up with you, either good or bad, sooner rather than later.
For some, the errors are so horrendous that those who've experienced them don't have the words to express what their eyes have seen.
Those who find the courage to speak up want to be kept "anonymous" and most have nothing good to say about marrying the wrong person.
Eyes have not seen, ears have not heard, neither can the mind fathom what's in store for those who's heard this gospel & that of other wise men in the likes of @bqmbulu, @guzu_, @amerix, et all.
Yet goes ahead to disregard & repeat these mistakes.
Surely, these men will experience the full wrath of a woman's ruthlessness, not because she wants to but because her nature demands she punish the man for his weaknesses in making such an important life decision.
"A woman's ruthlessness is nature's punishment for a man's weakness"
- A wise man once said.
When it's all said and done, the only one who has more to lose, takes all the blame and yet suffers most of all, is the man.
Marriage as an institution has never been the problem, the real problem as always been marrying the wrong person.
But by all means, get married.
You'll either get what you want or you become a philosopher.