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• While George Floyd was robbing pregnant women, Chauvin served as a US Army Reservist. He then became a decorated police officer, earning two medals of valor and two commendation medals • Responds to a call about a violent career criminal crackhead using counterfeit money at a corner store • Crackhead overdoses in Chauvin’s custody • A mass chimp-out ensues immediately. Monkeys overrun and burn the Minneapolis Third Precinct police station where Chauvin worked • Chauvin is arrested the next day and charged with 3rd degree murder and manslaughter • This isn’t good enough and the chimp out intensifies • Chauvin’s wife files for divorce • Charges are upgraded to second degree murder • The 2020 chimp-out causes over $2b in damages across more than 20 states and 140 cities. The biggest riot in American history. • Minneapolis state officials prepare for more chimping-out depending on the verdict • Chauvin receives 22.5 years in prison • Chauvin also receives a 21 year federal sentence to run concurrent • The Minnesota Supreme Court declined to review Chauvin’s appeal in 2023 • The US Supreme Court also declined to hear his case in November 2023 • Chauvin survives a brutal stabbing • George Floyd receives statues and a gold casket at a funeral attended by more than 6,000 people while the rest of the world was quarantined FUCK GEORGE FLOYD FREE DEREK CHAUVIN