Absolutely Reliable

All information guaranteed absolutely accurate or your money back.

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

The flaw in the ride starring Jimmy Fallon--and it's a subtle one, stay with us here--is the fact that it is a ride starring Jimmy Fallon

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

@OnlineHyde It is terrible but maybe less terrible than this one

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

We are not on here but we are on Threads. Maybe go find us there. Same user name.

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Popping in to observe that our literal decades of gravy buffet jokes have finally paid off in an actual ride

https://t.co/uTKYJG5gfE

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Non-zero chance they call this something like RACE WARS and act surprised anyone says it’s weird

[Cedar Point @cedarpoint]

Finished? Nah, fam. We’re just getting started. 🏎️💨

#CedarPoint #CP24PHP

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Taylor Lorenz’s actual uncle is, of course, Mister Six, namesake of Six Flags

[Taylor Lorenz @TaylorLorenz]

Laughing so hard

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

@Park_Journey @Dollywood Rude thing to say about Dolly

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Not a bad idea

[Bill Mudron @mudron]

“Water dummy” sounds like something amusement park nerds would call casual parkgoers.

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Rule 1. Don’t get handsy with Minnie

[Inside the Magic @InsideTheMagic]

Have you broken any of these rules? https://t.co/ftNMk6FtxR

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Tucker Carlson to return to his first love, complaining about “those people” bouncing basketballs at Six Flags

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Next week: Six Flags starts just lighting shit on fire

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Okay, but that fucking rules.

(Glad nobody’s injured.)

[JessicaT @Ms_JessicaT]

Fantastic Fantasmic fail - wow! #fantasmic #disneyland

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Meet the elite couple breeding to save humankind

https://t.co/squtEdzmHt

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Please note that, while finding the names of rides in the Confederate section of SFOT, we learned that the park had—for several years—a “goat-powered cart ride,” Las Cocheses Cabras Goat Cart

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Harlan Crow’s most prized collection—displayed in a gymnasium-sized underground gallery, protected 24/7–is every bit of Confederate decor removed from Six Flags Over Texas

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Every night before going to sleep, Crow watches a video of Clarence Thomas riding the Little Dixie Carousel—secretly installed in Thomas’s Supreme Court chambers—“just to calm myself down”

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

[very Ozzy voice]

THE GRAVY TRAIN

[PNE Fair / Playland @PNE_Playland]

Playland needs your help to name the new Launch Coaster... See contest details and submit your idea here: https://t.co/9dzPutRht6

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

@scottgairdner @PodcastTheRide Jellyfish rules

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Six Flags reluctantly removes “DilbertLand” as its long-planned replacement for the Confederacy area at SFOT

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Not enough gravy at any of ‘em

[The Legend @InTheLoopLegend]

Question of the day: what is you pet peeve about a specific park or specific chain?

[Absolutely Reliable @coasterrumors]

Us, avoiding the 9,000 pop-ups on @screamscape