Michael F. Assbender

Life is like a baboon's ass: colorful and full of shit...

@[email protected] | @cobrasys.bsky.social

(he/him)

[Organizermemes @OrganizerMemes]

Republican’s midterm messageing

[Michael F. Assbender @cobrabr]

@tannenbaumr @threadreaderapp unroll

[Rachel Gilmore @atRachelGilmore]

Anyway.

[Dean Withers @itsdeaann]

Here’s my take away from my recent 1v20 debate on Jubilee:

MAGA is one of the most repulsively idiotic political movements in history.

[smit @itsoksmit]

at a job interview

"whats your biggest weakness?"

"understanding the semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmatics"

"could you give an me an example?"

"yes i could"

[Bernie Sanders @BernieSanders]

This is not a normal statement from a normal cabinet member of a major nation. 

This statement from Israeli National Security Minister Ben-Gvir is the statement of a war criminal. 

The racist, extremist Israeli government does not deserve one nickel of U.S. support.

[Anonymous @YourAnonNews]

This is the stupidity we're talking about: She got an abortion after helping ban them. Blamed the democrats for the struggle she had to get one. And doesn't want interviews talking about it to be public.

[Governor Newsom Press Office (parody) @AwesomeNewsom]

CONGRATULATIONS TO TRUMP ON ANOTHER DECLARATION THAT IRAN'S MILITARY IS DESTROYED AND THE WAR HAS ENDED. TRUMP HAS NOW ENDED THE SAME WAR 98 TIMES. PEOPLE CALL ME CRYING IN AWE, "HOW DOES HE DO IT?" NO ONE HAS EVER ENDED THE SAME WAR SO MANY TIMES. DONAD TRUMP IS THE GOAT!

[James Tate @JamesTate121]

Step 1: Remove filters in Reflecting Pool because Obama put them in.
Step 2: Give your criminal neighbor who runs "Greenwater Services" a $20 million no-bid contract to paint the pool.
Step 3: Fill the pool with water from the Potomac River, the phosphates from which cause algae blooms.
Step 4: Freshly sealed pool and extreme heat result in a super scum event
Step 5: Direct National Park Service to dump hydrogen peroxide into the pool which causes the paint to peel.
Step 5: Deploy US National Guard to stop people from taking photos of the swamp as a perfect metaphor for the administration.
Step 6: Blame someone else.

[PitBackle @PitBackle]

We didn't win against Iran but at least it didn't cost us 300 billion USD. 🤷‍♂️

[Michael Geist @mgeist]

This was a very bad week for privacy in Canada.

[Mightykeef @MightyKeef]

If this were black people, there would be tweets all over this site about how violent black people are, and how they cant be in society, followed by an Elon musk "Yup" retweet.

[Roddy 🇨🇦 @RodKahx]

MAGA:

[gremlin is cleveland's biggest fan @queerlilgremlin]

“almost four” sure sounds like he doesn’t consider the fetus she’s pregnant with to be a real person yet

weird

[Homeland Dems @HomelandDems]

Unless your name was Alex Pretti.

[Matt Leslie @mattleslie74]

"Sorry, you can't play in the World Cup because Mark was crap at geography at school."

[Michael F. Assbender @cobrabr]

@NoahKingJr Why? That's its name.

[Vols Over All Y’all @VolsAF]

“We were almost not racist anymore but then a black dude got elected and we just could not handle that”

[Michael F. Assbender @cobrabr]

@EricLDaugh Man, you orange ass suckers are the most disingenuous, pathetic, shameless people in the history of history. It's really sad.