Carl Spackler Jr

Grounds Crew

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Rate my lines… been mowing for a month #groundscrew

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

I made a Messi in your mom’s Ronaldo and your girl is giving me Mbappe.

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Everyone knows about women who are “butherfaces” but I just realized my good friend G-baby is a “buthisbody”

Guys mad handsome….but his body 👎🏼

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Top 3 latest calls of all time in the BU Lehigh game. I love mid major ball and this bald ref is fucking up my Wednesday night!

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Plane delayed 3 hours. Little do they know that just gives me more time to drink.

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Who’s gonna be in the dirty Jax for the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party ?

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Update: Starbucks missed earnings, but revenue was promising. Nice bounce in the stock after hours. Hopefully we open up nicey tomorrow and I can get baby a new pair of shoes.
#sydneysweeneycollab #plz

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Did you talk about river boat gambling trips? Making your own beef jerky? Did you talk about pussy, Thom?

You know nothing about love.

[Thom Rainer @ThomRainer]

Yesterday, my grandson called me “just to talk.” We talked about school, football, church, and his new love of golf. We laughed. We laughed again.

After 45 minutes, he told me he had to go. The entire conversation was “just to talk.”

Whatever undeserved human recognition I get, whatever positions I have held, they all pale in comparison to having a grandson who “just wants to talk.”

I love my family.

I love them all so very much.

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

If @starbucks misses earnings, I will literally make @Whalerfan_glue my personal boy toy. We’re both cock deep in Sbux calls and I won’t be able to wave my Amex platinum around to get me laid if I can’t afford the new $900 fee.

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Jerome Powell really just tanked the market then hit the 67. #goodafternoon

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Jerome Powell if you can hear me please save me #goodafternoon

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Not sure what the marketing team over at Starbucks is getting paid for but I will do their job for free. Sydney Sweeney collab. Please put this proposal on Brian Niccol’s desk before EOD. I am leveraged to my dick and balls in $105 calls and will take over as CEO if called upon.

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Henley, striped linen pants, and flops at the beach bar. Will be spending my Sunday at Planned Parenthood.

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Officially cut off after 4 drinks… shrink boon. Would rather give my money to Hamas then spend another dollar in this junk joint. #istilloveboon #downwiththepatriarchy

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Will shotgun in his face then tell him I’m driving uber #sitonitandbark

[Waffleb0arded @waffleb0arded]

How are you guys getting home????? Uhhhhh how about you stay put and hand me my Cruise missile, thanks booze boy.

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Absolute milf at the bar with her baby. Bad rizz to ask if I can hold him ? Maybe she’ll think I’m a good guy. #fuckthatbaby

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

The fellas are absolutely mobbing the bar rn, except for monk. Monk is chained up like a good boy by his girlfriend. Can we boo him in unison? #shrinkmonk #boooo

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Mookie Betts jersey is officially unbuttoned at the bar… tell the beer boy batters up #EXPAND

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Got cut off at 1:15 pm. Fuck this guy #shrink

[Carl Spackler Jr @coddlebury]

Bar opens at noon, I’m at the door barking.