Carter

Or, am I so sane, that I just blew your mind? I nominally write

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@Chilln01 @demonbellez44 @kastki They always had to do the actual adventure while the Hot Chocolate Team dicked around in the background

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@CrazyDegenerate Also in what fucking universe was that the pitch for indies? Every other story from the last 5 years of mainstream pop media is “Eh, we’re bored with rainbow capitalism”

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@SaucePub Oh no everyone’s gone insane. Not sure what fixes it at this point.

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@HeartKnivez He reappears when he’s needed most.

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

Vance is going to try and see how true Horseshoe Theory is by throwing a Hail Mary this election and going “Hey, lefties. So when you say punishing Israel is your litmus test…”

[Trita Parsi @tparsi]

Holy smokes!! 🔥🔥🔥

JD Vance to Israel opposing the MOU

"My response to them would be: What is your exact proposal? You’re a country of 9 million people. You can’t just kill your way out of solving every single national security problem that you have."

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@reesetheone1 The only solace I get from these last 10 years in hell is that there’s an entire political generation who clung to power and made our lives hell just so they could some day get “payback” for the hostage crisis only to get dog walked on a biblical scale when they tried.

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@TheCardinalArts @bluebardess I mean, Shrek had two sequels so bad, they should have ended the franchise…

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@___Colb___ AI would have put that dweeb in a bread basket.

[Philly Scott Van Pelt @HauserBrett]

*every single Sixers rival wins a championship*

Josh Harris (for the last decade): “Yeah I think she’s in middle school”

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@goldenspirit155 The easiest explanation for what went wrong is your best player went from 28 minutes to like 40. What did you think was going to happen?

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@CentristMadness Throwing the Hail Mary pass of “what if people actually get to root for Steve” saved the damn show!

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@FanSince09 Living in New York was the happiest I’ve ever been and still hate this Prep Kids team. At least with Boston and Dallas and my other hated sports cities, they’re consistently good. If the Knicks were in any other city, they’d be the treated like the Pelicans.

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@OnyxMcGrady It is one of the parts of this that gets me. The Knicks tanked, traded players for assets, begged for super stars; but got a free pass because they’re the main character.

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@FanSince09 It occurred to me in this series that the Knicks are the only franchise I truly hate. Whose success makes me physically ill.

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

If this is what Ring Culture has brought us to, we need to build a Time Machine and rip Jordan out of the flow of history.

[Damien Peters @DamienPetersNBA]

Official: Karl Anthony-Towns and Andrew Wiggins both win a championship before Jimmy Butler. Ouch.

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@DragonflyJonez It’s one thing to get humiliated on the biggest stage as a newbie. Spoelstra got absolutely pants against the Mavs and still ended up being an elite coach! But when every story about this team rallying has Pop coming down to give a speech, you gotta ask why Mitch is even here.

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@JaredWeissNBA If Shai did that shit to win a title, Adam Silver would have to go into hiding.

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@reesetheone1 Definitive proof there are no sports gods and possibly no regular ones either.

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@benlikessport I’m gonna be real, the moral of this series is you absolutely should complain all the time.

[Carter @ColdTakeCarter]

@dilanesper Also Jesus fucking Christ, you’re up 3-1 and you’re still *whinging* this much?!?