colette

[colette @coletterocks123]

I just taught my dog to READ

[jules @gaythotgirlson]

i believe in true love the way i believe in meth. i know it is real. i have tried it, by accident. it makes me insane. i do not have much interest in trying it again, at the moment. but i am a believer in true love.

[josephine @notnonicegal]

How do I tell someone I don’t want to see them anymore because I want to be loved

[AtnsMDX @AtnsXBT]

starting march 8th, the sun won’t set up until 7:30 pm, and it won’t set before before 7:00 pm until october

[lou @deeerhell]

no offense but if i have to join a run club to find my soulmate i’m going to kill myself

[‏ً @BALUCIAGA]

he hasn’t texted me all day damn #somebodytookmybitch 💔

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

I really want a boyfriend right now (my trash needs to be taken out)

[Cardi B @iamcardib]

Until then I’m in my bed, just rub my feet together

[Jamila 🔔 @_iamjamila]

“No one should be shot like that in broad daylight this is so wrong”

Right. Exactly. So you agree-

[Gibson Johns @gibsonoma]

Finding out Karen Huger is going to be released from prison while #RHOP is still filming

[Lou Diamond Phillips @LouDPhillips]

“Every record has been destroyed or falsified, every book rewritten, every picture has been repainted, every statue and street building has been renamed, every date has been altered. And the process is continuing day by day and minute by minute. History has stopped…”
Orwell 1984

[born free @urvenusruler]

i am deleting it now

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

i would be so bad at planning a bachelorette party. girl let's go get MRIs

[kelly @BoyYeetsWorld]

Uh yeah, I’m having a pretty good day

[Mr K @krezae]

If you get cremated after you die you can be put into an hour glass and still participate in family game nights.

[Jason Pargin, author of John Dies at the End, etc @JasonKPargin]

Confession: I thought there was some kind of technical definition of a "weed" like I thought you could show it to a plant expert and ask "is this a flower or a weed?" and they could tell you. But no, weed is just a slur for any plant you don't personally want around

[💕 Doll Face✨ @smoke_nd_pearlz]

I did not know who Ariana Madix before Love Island but TikTok just showed me?? Her partner of TEN YEARS,Tom,was fucking her bestie, Raquel, behind her back for 7 months?! Then her family dog died too! I just saw both scenes of her reading Tom then Raquel for filth. A QUEEN.

[2joser2loser @joserloser]

I don't love America. I love hot dogs.

[bink @knotbink]

Just let your girlfriend be crazy like who cares bro