Colin Abel

devour feculence

[Colin Abel @ColyWoly]

If I had a nickel for every time my dad called me a pussy I might finally be able to afford therapy

[Joshwelt @weltszzn]

food and drinks consumed in a movie theater doesn’t really go into your body. it goes into your movie theater body which is separate & holy and harm-proof

[cory @coolmathgame_]

horror movie lovers be like i love that movie it made me feel fucking awful and horrible and really scared

[trap dad @dude_gang]

fajitamogging everybody at the mexican restaurant

[reyna cervantes @Jfcdoomblade]

“You’re gonna punch me?”
“Yeah”
“Then you’re gonna in trouble for that”
“Okay”

Followed by this frame is one of the hardest things I’ve seen on the internet this week.

[Mythic Mind Games @MythicMgames]

You've just ordered Pizza Hut and a 2L Mountain Dew.

You've loaded up @Diablo II on your PC.

No school tomorrow.

Your parents don't care if you stay up all night long.

A perfect winter night.

You are 36 years old.

The year is 2026.

[Egg Czar 🥚👑 @EarthBrah]

So our government is basically like "no don't mess with that— that's a load-bearing child sex trafficking ring"

[dan @Dansplainer]

when i open a can of disgusting chili and my cat thinks it's dinner time, no honey it's slopfiesta time for your father now

[✦ tokki ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ @tteoktokki_]

no deadlock mention she’s out there somewhere keep queueing

[💕 Brittany Belle 💕 @BrittanyinTexas]

Funniest thing I’ve seen all day… 😂😂 https://t.co/ABve2Jj9an

[jake rhodes @jakebrodes]

Shaggy, exhaling bong smoke: you ever feel like too much can happen to a person scoob. Like Too much tragedy. No amount of therapy or medication or self medication can fix it. It’s just like. In your bones man.

Scooby inhaling 13 foot sandwich: Res.

[Cal @wyattyhalpert]

They’re giving He-Man pronouns

[Tolkien World @TolkienWorldG]

This is sick

[Michael Kandel @K_A_N_D_E_L]

hey dude. I noticed your critique of the film lies not with the movie as it exists, but rather as a desire for it to be a different work entirely. your Serious Person card has been revoked and someone will be coming by later to kill you

[Colin Abel @ColyWoly]

ain’t no way.

[Bandai Namco US @BandaiNamcoUS]

@bellbearinghunt feet of man 🤤

[connor @ConnorEatsPants]

@JDVance Log back in pussy. Keep tweeting. You’re not waking anyone up. We know Usha sleeps in the other room. My son played Roblox with your boys btw. Great kids. Usha did a good job keeping your influence out. Not hard though with how emotionally detached you are

[connor @ConnorEatsPants]

@JDVance Sorry but you were the only baby ever worth choosing crack over. Every time your mom neglected you was justified. Sorry. Amy Adams sucked in that movie too, sorry. Nothing you touch ever goes right. You should try some of Elon’s medicine sometime. Sorry.

[Colin Abel @ColyWoly]

@NRustgi @ZachLowe_NBA pls.

[Naryan Rustgi @NRustgi]

@ZachLowe_NBA hey zach, unironic long time zeke nnaji truther as well. You mentioned not a lot of words that start with Z, have you considered calling us truthers "Zeke zealots"? Please consider