Rumple Buttercup

when I’m in an eating a lot of ants competition and I see my opponent is a southern tamandua: 😵‍💫

[Brian Burns @briantburns_]

“She is ON one,” I would say, had I been alive in the 1420s and met Joan of Arc.

[raticoncito @n0thasghey]

Just noticed Fourth of July is on Friday the 13th this year

[doomer @uncledoomer]

people see a conquistador ship pull up next to them and instead of battening down the hatches and loading their cannons to prepare for a broadside, they take out their phone and take a video

[expiredkirspies @beyoncesspamacc]

New phone detected the old one nearby and asked if I wanted to transfer the data

[shadoomf🪲🇵🇸(homunculus enjoyer) @Shadoo_creeture]

homunculus unboxing

[The Medieval Scholar @MedievalScholar]

Who are you rooting for in the Habsburg-Bowl @EduardHabsburg

[Lisa @lisathebeauty1]

I have no more passwords left in me.

[Adrizzle 🇵🇸 @36_chambuhz]

Salamander language has 80 different words for humidity

[moss .𖥔 ݁ ˖ @mossyseals]

what if we all just

[The Hollywood Reporter @THR]

Dexter Sol Ansell on AKOTSK season 2, which is shooting now in Ireland:

“There’s a book, and if you want to know more, just read it.” https://t.co/AL5fuKdfT1

[alicentpilled hightowercel @alphalicent]

y’all never ask this about vermithor 🙄 to be a woman is to perform

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

should i turn 28 be honest

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Sometimes you're eating a salad and it feels like it's never going to end

[angel @angelshit]

Unclench your jaw my Precious Little Creature

[james and the giant onion @onionmoder]

feeling like the chopped bird baby