Concetta Sloss

I like books and animals and pajamas.

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

Like 3 weeks ago my 3 year old got a little too close when our neighbor was weed whacking and got hit with the grass and cried and said “I got zoomed by the zoomer man” and when he was putting his shorts on this morning he said “hope I don’t see the zoomer man today”

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

My husband: “I had a tub of cottage cheese, 2 cups of milk, and a cake for lunch”

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

I need someone to wish me goodnight like my son just did to my daughter. “Good night Eloise. I love your beautiful nightgown. You are the queen”

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

It never fails that as soon as I think my 5 year old is asleep he says something like “did you know Georgia O’Keefe lived to be 98?” Or “when are we going to another parade?”

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

I used to consider myself pretty brave but now I have to give my 3 year old a sandwich that was supposed to be a dinosaur but the legs got ripped off so instead it’s the Loch Ness monster

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

Realized today that my 18 month old groans and says “oh god” every time she bends down in case you need a reminder that kids will copy your behavior

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

My favorite parenting milestones are the ones that I didn’t think about like showing my kids shows like Kim Possible

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

My 5 year old just looked me dead in my eyes and said “I know you have lots of energy but my brother and I don’t”

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

Every time I sneeze or cough my 18 month old aggressively says “what?!” And I feel attacked every time

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

@JHarwoooood @guiltyasinights Well that’s great for you, I also enjoy the song, but this is just my opinion on it. I’ll tell my sister to get on writing that song, though.

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

If you’re on the fence about having kids just know that my 3 year old- widely regarded as the happiest and sweetest toddler- dumped a whole bottle of shampoo in the bath, told me he “mega hates” me when I said that wasn’t ok and then slapped me with a wet washcloth

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

What do people do without a 3 year old to remind you to make sure that your bed doesn’t have “foots”?

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

My 5 year old had to get blood work on Monday, and today my aunt said “I heard Sammy donated blood for Martin Luther King Day”

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

My 18 month old daughter asking me up at 2 AM so she can flip through a book and “read” feels similar to me reading all night and then being a zombie at school. Except this book is not as good.

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

My version of my mom’s “who the fuck are you talking to?” is “try again”. Very effective

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

My 5 year old likes to play chess now which is fun for a lot of reasons but my favorite might be that he forgets the name of the bishops and instead calls them pumas.

[Romy @Romy_Holland]

having a velcro baby is like carrying a sack of potatoes around while doing all of your daily tasks, but also the potatoes make the worst sound you’ve ever heard if you ever stop moving.

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

I just sometimes need a break from answering questions like “do you like farting or peeing more?”

[Concetta Sloss @concetta_sloss]

My 5 year old at bedtime: “mom you only have a few more days left before you die”