Cal Connelly

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

Philly steak and cheese.....meatball marinara......ham and cheese #subtweeting

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

@PardonMyTake @PFTCommenter 96

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

Anytime I ask someone if they have a favorite character from Parks and Rec, they always say "nope". I wonder why...

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

The perception of weed has definitely changed over time, I mean "getting stoned" used to be the most brutal punishment in ancient times

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

You can't spell "teamwork" without "am"

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because the 'p' is silent..... and they're extinct

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

Breaking News: Employers are now ending International Women's Day at 6:48 pm because that is 77% of a full day.

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

I don't understand why vegetarians boycott McDonald's, it's not like they serve real chicken

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

Free donut day at Dunkin' Donuts, don't retweet to save a life

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

All done with high school, I hope my college isn't too nice so I'll still have something to complain about

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

I love when my cheese can laugh at itself

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

Sorry Harvard, your offer wasn't enough, Assumption Class of 2019

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

People keep making Frozen references even though the movie is like a year old, like jeez, let it go

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

"I've fallen and I can't get up!" #ThrownBackThursday

[Chris Merritt @ChrisMerritt99]

Anyone else able to tie rope using their minds? Thought knot

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

Just found out there is a foosball video game! FIFA 15 here I come!

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

The only untradable players in fantasy sports are the ones who you named your team after

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

First Colbert, then Stewart, now it looks like I am going to have to resort to South Park for my Comedy Central News

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

It's a good thing the people that live at school get to decide if the roads are drivable

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

Senior prank: steal all the lunch staff's gloves and hair nets..... oh wait

[Cal Connelly @connellycal]

I'm surprised no one made a "That's what she said" joke during Tom Brady's press conference