Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ

Do not 'spam' in my messages. Do not send 'memes' in my messages. This is a strictly professional account.

THEY/THEM
() Engineer AUS:OG Parody Account ()

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

[ There used to be a lengthy detailed
description of their duties and skills
but it seems like Twitter determined
the content as spam. ]

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

" 𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘐 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 z̶a̶p̶ y̶o̶u̶! "

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

They grabbed my PHONE and stuffed it into a pile of TRASH. I had to go looking for it everywhere! EVERYWHERE! I am glad I finally found it. Do not fret for I have returned!

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

@FULL0FJUSTICE Good luck then existing without coffee until we reach our destination. Maybe that will stop you from breaking the coffee machine.

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

@FULL0FJUSTICE Sure. Whatever makes you sleep at night.

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

My coworkers are morons.

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

@FULL0FJUSTICE We NEVER have impostors on our ship! You constantly keep talking about impostors. We do NOT have impostor outbreaks! It is such a rare occurrence!

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

@Captainonguard [They sighed and rolled their visor.]

Fine. I will be there shortly.

[Clearly they’re not THAT affected by the changes in the star-chart. More so preoccupied with Captain’s state of mind.]

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

@Captainonguard I am simply stating a fact, Captain. You cannot fire me for being objectively right.

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

@FULL0FJUSTICE I have ALREADY fixed it if you have read my latest email. What makes YOU think you are different from the rest? Just like the others. Incompetent and MORONIC.

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

@FULL0FJUSTICE You are NOT excused.

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

@ACTVAGT_HONEY Do be. I only COMMEND a crewmate when they TRULY deserve it.

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

@ACTVAGT_HONEY A pity, really. I would prefer your company to many of my coworkers.

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

@ACTVAGT_HONEY I GUESS with your size and ominous posture you can replace our current security guard. They’re not of much use anyway, more of a nuisance, really. That could be a good start.

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

@ACTVAGT_HONEY *scoffs* Of course.
I am stuck here tolerating whatever stupidity they inflict upon me. A-L-O-N-E.
I am the only sane crewmate that remains on this cursed ship!

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

@ACTVAGT_HONEY Captain blacklisted me from the ship wide emailing list, Guard broke the coffee machine AGAIN, Cook set the kitchen on fire while working with an electric…ELECTRIC stove, Doctor caused another power outage on the ship and Scientist-
Well they didn’t do anything YET.

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

@MelonAtFungle I am NOT bored. I am preoccupied with you threatening my reputation as a busy and HEAVILY qualified bean.

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

@MelonAtFungle How rude. You’ll be hearing from my lawyer.

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

I am not ASKING for sick time, Captain. I’m asking for you to LEAVE me alone and punish the crewmate spreading such hateful rumors about me.

PUT ME DOWN. And do NOT touch me. I have indicated several times I do NOT support the overstepping of MY boundaries.

[Captain @Captainonguard]

Awh, AWH! You called me Lazuli~ I knew you would come around!! Okay.. Since you're being such a good sport about this, I'll allow you to have one more sick minute.. as a treat!

And the ANONYMOUS sender IS being punished! They're.. Well-.. Nice weather, yes?

[Ｅｎｇｉｎｅｅｒ @CONTROLLEDSPARK]

So you ARE allowing T.H.E.M. to remain unpunished, while applying sanctions on ME? For simply stating my distaste of their actions? Get a grip on yourself, Lazuli. You cannot fire me nor dock my pay. Unless you want me to take a prolonged vacation and let this ship COMBUST.

[Captain @Captainonguard]

Come on Engineer! We have to talk about this, remember! Hashing it out means Cashing it out when pay-day comes-- Unless you want to get a dock to your pay!

This is NOT a threat! It's a pinky pinky promise, okay? Remember, your comfortability comes second! After MIRA policy!