Papa Carter

I love my life

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

If you don’t fill my Starbucks cup to the brim, I hope you forget to blend your foundation at your jawline

[Buffalo Wild Wings @BWWings]

Everyone who retweets this gets free wings if the game goes to overtime.

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

My last chance to enter the #MTNDEWMAJORMELON count, so here we go: 202 Let me know how I did. Have you counted yet? Check out the pinned tweet on @MountainDew. #MyPromotionEntry Rules: https://t.co/NgtNl21PSc

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

Second time’s the charm. There are 236 bottles of #MTNDEWMAJORMELON in this ad. Think you can count better? Go to the pinned tweet on @MountainDew. #MyPromotionEntry Rules: https://t.co/NgtNl21PSc

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

@MountainDew 121
#MTNDEWMAJORMELON #mypromotionentry

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

🎶 Who let the Doge out 🎶

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

Things that WON’T prevent COVID-19!!! ⚠️
1. The man in the corner of chipotle. If you give him $50, he will NOT give you a VACCINE! He will just make fun of the haircut your mom gave you while in quarantine and run away leaving you $50 poorer.
2. Saying “no thank you”.

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

@JustinMcElroy 2015- Director not havin it 😂

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

Anyone else forget Mount Rushmore was a thing? Why do I feel like it was just a dream

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

Doin a stand up show Feb. 7th.

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

Hey guys, he’s all good!

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

When Michael Bublé dies, we won’t know until Christmas comes that upcoming year.

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

I don’t hide nor do I do drugs but I just thought a lot about this

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

Hide drugs in your vas deferens, no one ever checks there

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

Would it have been wrong of me to pop her in the jaw? Cause I wanted to.

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

Gal at Chipotle folds your burrito like this. WDYD?

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

Why is it so easy to figure out the type of person that just absolutely loves mashed potatoes. Like if there is a pot luck and there are mashed potatoes I know exactly what kid is about to take all of it.

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

Salamanders are my professor’s favorite creature, so I hope this assignment is good enough for full credit 😂 salamanders regrow things and scientists are studying that to help us regrow cartilage! Hopefully limbs someday. https://t.co/udARnFC7XG

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

My professor asked what the most powerful thing in the universe is and the kid next to me said, “hammer” with all the confidence in the world. I cried laughing for the next half hour.

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

@H03LLY Yeah for people with social anxiety

[Papa Carter @coolcarter22]

So I posted this video and a follower sent me the most wonderful photo…