Cool Idiot

[Cool Idiot @coolidiot2000]

When people
know me
too much,
they start
unknowing me.

[Abhijit @abhijitwt]

Python code he is talking about

def hackEVM():
if icon == "BJP":
BJP_votes += 1
else:
BJP_votes *= 2
return "BJP Wins"
print("3 syntax errors fixed successfully")

[Cool Idiot @coolidiot2000]

Mom: Alright, how are you two gonna explain yourselves?!

Daughter: Um…

Dad: Well I'm going to say verbally, because judging by your tone you might not be in the mood for the dance we've prepared.

[LaughBreak: Dad Jokes ‘N More @MediocreJoker85]

Three spies — from England, France, and Italy — are sent to the USSR.

After a week, they are captured and thrown into prison.

The Russians take the English spy, tie him up, and torture him. After 20 minutes, he gives up all the information.

They do the same to the French spy, who also breaks after 20 minutes.

Then they bring in the Italian spy. They tie him up and torture him for hours, but he refuses to talk.

Eventually, they give up and return him to his cell.

The other two spies stare at him in disbelief.

“How did you do that? They broke us immediately!”

The Italian replies, “I wanted to tell them everything… but they tied my hands so I couldn’t speak!”

[Cool Idiot @coolidiot2000]

Daughter: Why did you guys dress up as each other for Halloween?

Mom: Your dad is the scariest thing I could think of.

Dad: You told me I should pick the dumbest costume possible.

[Cool Idiot @coolidiot2000]

Boss: Why are you late?

Me: A technical error occurred, causing an unexpectedly long bout of unconsciousness.

Boss: Overslept?

Me: Overslept.

[Cool Idiot @coolidiot2000]

Before marriage
You’ve got something on your face *kisses it off the face*.

After marriage
You’ve got something on your face, go clean yourself up. and never come back.

[Cool Idiot @coolidiot2000]

Friend: True wealth is mental health

ME: So I'm broke twice over.

[Cool Idiot @coolidiot2000]

Me: you love me.

Wife: i hate you.

Me: you loveeeeeee me!

Wife: i want to kill you.

Me: TRUE LOVE!

[ThtKashmiriGuy @ThtKashmiriGuy]

June 6 script:

• Protest at Jantar Mantar.
• Police stop it due to lack of permission.
• Scuffle over "constitutional rights."
• Social media: "We can't even protest anymore!"
• A few detentions. Wangchuk becomes the face of the story.
• Selective clips of alleged mistreatment go viral.
• International media: "Modi government jails youth activists."
• Twitter screams dictatorship.
•German Shepherd uploads a video,India under dictator.

By the end of the day, a permissions dispute will be sold as proof that democracy in India is dead.

[Gaurav Pradhan 🇮🇳 @OfficeOfDGP]

Congressi only understand this language they never tell the Tax rate on restaurants during congress rule

[🇨🇭🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿InLucysHead🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇨🇭© @InsideLucysHead]

Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top...

A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground.

Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.

One engineer shook his head and laughed, "Typical blonde! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"

[Nishant 🇮🇳 @Nishantchant]

BCCI cleared message to secular who lived in india
#RCBvsGT

[Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

A farmer buys a young cock. As soon as he gets it home, it f*cks all the farmer's 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch the cock screws all 150 hens again.

The next day it's f*cking the ducks and geese too. Later he finds the cock lying on the ground half-dead with vultures circling overhead.

The farmer says, “You deserved it, you horny bastard!” The cock opens one eye, points up, and says, “Shhhhhh. They’re about to land!!”

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

"Enough with the question Doc. I just want to lay on this couch and have some peace."

"Do you understand why you are here?"

"Again with the questions?"

[Cool Idiot @coolidiot2000]

@coolfunnytshirt Jee nahi

[Slayer Khare 杀手卡雷 @Vaishnav122]

One of my friends shared this over WhatsApp. Legit laughed for 5 mins straight.

[Sid @siddocode]

Life without her Life with her

[Cool Idiot @coolidiot2000]

@narendramodi Abb Anti-Modi wale bolenge

Hum Jal nahi piyenge.........

[Cool Idiot @coolidiot2000]

Abb toh modiji ne bhi bol diya hai ...

[Narendra Modi @narendramodi]

Different parts of India are witnessing soaring temperatures and the challenges that come with it. This heat is harsh on all of us and I urge you all to take as many precautions as possible. Please stay hydrated, keep water with you when stepping out. Offer a glass of water to others. In weather like this, such kindness goes a long way.

[Cool Idiot @coolidiot2000]

She asked "What that mouth do?"

He replied :Girl I've been eating mangoes without slicing since I was 8, I'll make you cry.