critter

nearly 8,000 days old & 32 ft long sideways. i love eBay like a brother to me

[critter @cootercritter]

If you loved me you would put your finger deep into a fish and then let it go swim again

[critter @cootercritter]

Mead recipie tatood on my ankle (so I don’t forget how!!)

[critter @cootercritter]

@palaidan_ you can if you’re me

[critter @cootercritter]

trailer parks are what happens if u buy condoms from the clearance bin

[critter @cootercritter]

day 4 of counting days

[critter @cootercritter]

ok we all know what X rhymes with…

[critter @cootercritter]

hamburger sweat

[critter @cootercritter]

pulled into a rest stop to let my belly hang out and get some air

[critter @cootercritter]

@palaidan_ you have to stop

[critter @cootercritter]

@palaidan_ I’m naked

[critter @cootercritter]

Feeling lopsided

[critter @cootercritter]

Ever made a bread bomb? It’s a bomb with raw wet dough around it so when it blows up it makes bread like a hug

[critter @cootercritter]

Number 1 fan of number 2

not my own words but it looks like it now

[critter @cootercritter]

I can’t wait to dip into my brand new Oreck vacuum guacamole dip ❤️

[critter @cootercritter]

@palaidan_ This hurts

[critter @cootercritter]

It’s frustrating that trio isn’t spelt with 3 letters.

It’s also frustrating that fish inhabit by bloodstream. Since fish don’t sleep they’re always moving in my blood

always

[critter @cootercritter]

Rubbing

[critter @cootercritter]

Farting in the elevator as soon as the doors close to leave a gift for the next elevator user. Little things❤️

[critter @cootercritter]

I’m French

[critter @cootercritter]

hey I say: the more stains the better. then u kno it was once loved enough 2 be comfortable on

I mean too comfy that the bastsrd oozed,, right ?!

Love yall