COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity)

Presidency of the 15th UN Conference on #Biodiversity 🌍 in #Canada 🇨🇦

#COP15 🌐🌱 #Montreal #BlaBlaGreenwashing 🥦

FR🇨🇵/EN🇬🇧

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

#Hawaii's #MaunaLoa's #eruption just cut the power supply to the world oldest #atmospheric #CO² monitor. In the next couple days, the #KeelingCurve, a tool used to monitor #Earth's CO², level will drastically drop. We finally found a way to rapidly #reduce our CO² emissions!

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

@elonmusk, since you have been doing such a great job with #preserving and #reviving #Twitter, would you be interested in buying #biodiversity? 💰🐿️

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

After finding out that #animals collectively produce billions of tons of #greenhouse gases by breathing, we have decided to concentrate our preservation efforts on #plants capable of eliminating #CO².
#Efficacity 🌳🌱

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

Pour assurer le bon déroulement de la #COP15, nous avons installé une clôture de poulailler autour du #PalaisDesCongrès pour sensibiliser la population aux enjeux portant sur les espèces en voie de disparitions, tel que la #Merlerault🐓.
#sensibilisation #biodiversité

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

We have fired our previous community manager. We apologize for any inconveniences this incident might have caused. We assure you that all our efforts are aimed towards protecting biodiversity. #PleaseBelieveUs🥺

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

It's all a scam! They're not rly trying to protect biodiversiy, theyre trying to make bank!

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

It's all a scam! They're not rly trying to protect biodiversiy, theyre trying to make bank!

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

Greenwa- Solutions to the climate crisis! #Solutions ����

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

What is best in life?

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

It's official, #COP16 will take place in Ba Sing Se!
#TheresNoClimateEmergencyInBaSingSe 👀

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

@Tampax We could say the same about metal straws #reusable 😏

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

Good try, but this is a false solution. As we all know, the sun is the main source of #GlobalWarming. In December, we will analyse the possibility to #abolish daytime globally.
#Sunscreen ☀️🚫🌡️

[Mike Hudema @MikeHudema]

Vehicles charged by the sun.

We have the solutions. Implement them. #ActOnClimate

#Climate #energy #renewables #renewableenergy #solar #ev #GreenNewDeal

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

#Dinosaurs would still be here today if they had a COP-65,000,000 #Evolution 🦕🦖

[Peter Dynes @PGDynes]

Carbon emissions during the Anthropocene are occurring 10 times faster than the Permian mass extinction 250 million years ago. What does that mean?...well 90% of all life went extinct during that period so we may want to tread carefully here.

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

#COP16's principal concern will be finding a way to compensate #COP15's private jets CO² emissions. #ThinkingAhead 🤯💡

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

And that's why we are proud to announce our #partnership with @Nestle to help them to use reusable metal straws to pump fresh water environments! Recycle, Reuse, Reduce! ♻️

[Nestlé @Nestle]

Our approach to net zero goes beyond stopping deforestation in our supply chain: we aim to have a positive, regenerative impact on landscapes where our ingredients are grown. We’re planting 200 million 🌳 by 2030. Learn more about our env strategy: https://t.co/f5iXrsBhSJ

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

After learning that the soil contains a lot of #Carbon, and for our #FutureGenerations, we have decided to get rid of it. 🌍⛏️

[UN Biodiversity @UNBiodiversity]

Earth's natural carbon sinks are critical for slowing down #ClimateChange.🌿🌳🌏

In fact, soil contains more carbon than you might have imagined! 🪱

A @visualcap infographic shows how much carbon is stored in different ecosystems.

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

We have raised a fence around #PalaisDesCongrès to ensure that all our participants are safe from environmentalists and climate activists. #Security 🐔🦊

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

To compensate the massive #CO2 emissions from #COP15 participants, all of their private jets will be melted to produce free #reusable metal straws. #CircularEconomy ✈️♻️

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

#MetalStraws

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

@UNBiodiversity @WWF It's true! Every degree matters to a certain degree, you don't need a degree to agree!

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

We have pledged to use metal straws and reusable cups during our conference. What more can we do to satisfy the radical climate activists?? #CancelGreenpeace

[Greenpeace International @Greenpeace]

'It is extraordinary that in 30 years of UN climate negotiations, eliminating the primary cause of global heating has never been mentioned in the decisions.'

This needs to change.

#COP27 #COP28

[COP 15 (Conference Of Parodies on biodiversity) @Cop15p]

Indeed! In December, we will ask them to collaborate and stop resisting against #pipelines, wich will generate money that will be invested in #CarbonCredits.

Resisting pipelines is inherently anti-biodiversity and anti-forests! #investment 🌳

[UN Biodiversity @UNBiodiversity]

To Fight Climate Change, Canada Turns to Indigenous People to Save Its Forests 🌳🌳🌳

Explore more via The New York Times ⬇️

https://t.co/i6edQ341le