Oz

Pale shadow, imitation of humanity, come forth from the mirror & speak with me ~ 🦇⚰️ Changling Vampire ♤ Blood Hunter ♤ Warlock 🪄 Wizard 🐐 Druid ⚔They/Them

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

@BackgroundsBlur As a member a vampiric undead, the compassions appreciated
But also, as a monster hunter

If the person with the peanut allergy was constantly bitin peoples throats out, I don't think you'd hear the populace complain if ya aerosolized peanut butter around yer house or yerself 🤷

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

@KoscheiDalca Turned inta a horse ta carry em, cause I needed more speed than my normal 2 legs would provide

Horses don't have thumbs either I'm afraid
Not normal ones at least

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

@KoscheiDalca Dog

Was trackin somethin

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

And then ya gotta haul em to the nearest town, cause what are ya gonna do? Be an ass and leave em in the weird and dangerous woods? No.

So ya try ta drop em off in town but ya lack thumbs ta pay fer an inn

Anyway, what an evening

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

Sometimes ya forget ta wild shape outta yer beast form, and ya start a conversation with a very confused traveler who keeps starin at their wine skin fer reassurance that they aren't imaginin things until they finally can't take the weirdness anymore and run straight inta a tree

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

@KoscheiDalca There's plenty a books and research to help ya establish one

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

@KoscheiDalca No wonder there's so much crime they named the place fer it

Gotta get their entertainment somewhere

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

@FulmenDraconis They're cravin warmth and the tender light a the sun

Not the harsh thin light a winter that sustains nary a plant and hours a darkness 🤷 can't blame em fer gettin a lil funny

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

Is my boyfriend cravin a sacrifice snack or somethin??

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

@KoscheiDalca Reasonable
But that could happen anywhere
At least a decent city might offer insurance fer some a it

What I'm saying is, ya might need ta drop yer standards ta more reasonable rates

And also invest in teleportation magic. Whisk the buildin away in the face a danger
Then return

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

@KoscheiDalca Fair enough 🤷
One good deed deserves another and whatnot

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

@KoscheiDalca Good luck findin a town with a theater attending populace that isn't under threat of adventurers or secretly housin a great evil

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

@KoscheiDalca Well, I mean yeah, not rule it or anythin

But ya aren't even allowed ta jus live or work in the area and pay taxes?? Would ya even be crossin the same entertainment paths??

I'll admit, I dunno what all falls under their purview

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

@KoscheiDalca Where were ya auditionin before?? Maybe there'd work

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

@BackgroundsBlur 1 normal grandpa and 1 weird grandpa

Balances out

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

@BackgroundsBlur Eh, romantic
In a kind of, super fucked up and upsettin way…

Grandpa got game I guess

And here people were concerned you'd be mentally distressed havin ta possibly off a guy that looked like ya
Turns out, the distress comes from sharin overly personal anecdotes. With yer face

[Oz @corpusCorvidae]

@BackgroundsBlur That's so nice and chill
How normal
How mundane
Sounds refreshin

A precious man worthy a protection