Stuart Robertson

Love life, Love my family, I've got a gob on me though, so if I offend... That's your problem.

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Well done Matt you bloody beauty!
🥇 🇬🇧
#Olympics2026 #TeamGB 🇬🇧

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

@DeckinAbout Thanks 😎👍
#YouKnowIt

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Tomorrow's lunch... Sorted!

#Bosh
#PotNoodle
#BestDad

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

@YouKnow49503014 😎👍

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

LG’s "Streaming Week"
A stunning display of counting skills, stretching from May 19th to June 30th. Bold move redefining “week,” but hey, who am I to question the visionaries who brought us *fridges with Wi-Fi*?
#INNOVATION #UWOTM8 #LG #LifesGood

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Thanks for the offer but this stuff writes itself 😉👍

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Give me a haunted typewriter—I’m ghostwriting five bestselling novels and one cursed screenplay.
#PossessedProse
#Books

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Enough dithering, Daniel Levy! Stop messing about and appoint Tim Sherwood as Tottenham's new manager. This club needs ambition, not hesitation. Get it done! #Ambition #Champions #COYS #UCL

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Shipwreck me anywhere—I’m building a five-star eco-resort out of sand, driftwood and sheer willpower.
#IslandInfluencer
#Travel

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Drop me in a submarine, I’m navigating that thing home through enemy waters like I’m Poseidon with a sat nav.
#NoPressure
#PeriscopeUp

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Put me in charge of the stock exchange for a day—I’m crashing recessions and casually inventing new currencies.
#EconomicsDoneRight
#YouAreWelcome

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Lock me in a courtroom, I’m defending myself, cross-examining witnesses, and walking out not guilty with an apology.
#ObjectionOverruled
#CaseClosed

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Bittersweet news! Thank you, Ange Postecoglou, for bringing the #UEL trophy home to Tottenham! That night in Bilbao will live forever. All the best for your future! 🤍
Now, to the team: use this success as fuel. Dig in and rise to the top where we belong! #COYS! 💪 #SpursFamily

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Toss me on stage at a wedding I wasn’t invited to—I’m doing the speech, first dance and karaoke finale.
#PlusOneTakeover
#Weddings

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Let me loose in a circus—I’m taming lions, walking the tightrope and managing HR.
#CircusCEO
#Entertainment

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Toss me into a reality dating show—I’m winning without coupling up, just by improving everyone’s self-esteem.
#LoveGuruGhost
#RealityTV

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Send me into a mime battle—I’m crushing it with a full-blown silent soliloquy and interpretive flash mob.
#MimeAndPunishment
#TheArts

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Lock me in an escape room alone—I’m out in 8 minutes and they ask me to design the sequel.
#KeyMaster
#WeekendVibes

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Toss me into a kids’ birthday party—I’m balloon modelling The Last Supper and still winning pass-the-parcel.
#PartyProphet
#Parenting

[Stuart Robertson @cpwstu]

Drop me in an IKEA with no map—I’m out in 10 minutes, flat-pack throne built, meatballs plated.
#LordOfTheFlatpack
#DIY