IAMIAN

GRIM GRINNING GHOST

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

@trixiemattel They do

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

Walking down the street today I passed by a grown man watching cat videos on his phone. With the volume up. Maybe the world isn't such a bleak place after all.

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

@WholesomeMeme

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

@travisbarker Samezies

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

@hail_666_seitan That's outta my pay-grade, how's 🤷‍♂️

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

@UberFacts Fuck Thomas Jefferson

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

@TheFirstOkiro

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

So, I'm remembering the song "I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus" and it took me to the scene in Forrest Gump where his mom has sex with his teacher so he could move on to the next grade. Your momma cares about your gifts.

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

Me:
Anybody: Hello there
My brain: THE ANGEL FROM MY NIGHTMARE!
My brain again: GENERAL KENOBI!
Me: *explodes*

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

@tomdelonge A big dick. Like, HUGE. Like, cartoon huge. Like, it shouldn't be real, but there it is. Like, "you could wear it as a belt" big. Absolutely massive. Chernobyl third arm big.

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

If I sit on your face, I legally own you. Squatter's rights.

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

@nickbayside Poseur

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

@hail_666_seitan Bella Ciao for sure

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

@DingusER It works with other animals too

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

@OffhandDisney Tarzan (as told by Phil Collins)

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

Happy #LagwagonDay #may16th

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

Woman are supportive, humble, incredibly passionate about the craft, and have been the most influential in my time during my career. Fuck toxic #kitchenculture

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

I mean this in the MOST POSITIVE of ways. Women belong in the kitchen. Being in the industry and constantly surrounded by toxic men and their giant egos, women have been THE STRONGEST people I have had the pleasure of working alongside. #supportwomen #kitchenlife #industrylife

[IAMIAN @crackedteeeth]

@LauraJaneGrace Thanks, mom