i hate being around friends with drug addictions. vaping, alcohol. anything. it makes me so uncomfortable they just remind me of my parents. it’s like i’m clinging begging them to stop out of worry, fear. and it means nothing.
i want to relapse. i hate the fact my head won’t allow myself to as i feel like i need permission to, but i will never get permission.
please. just allow me once. it’s all i want