Certified Liz Bean

if it’s not rap or reality tv from 2007 then I don’t want it ✨🤝community @fiverr ✨ask me about my cats🐈 🐈‍⬛✨she/her 🌻 views are my own

[Certified Liz Bean @crazy4rap]

I actually thought it was brain zaps for like .9 seconds and was not at all concerned. But the zap was too long

[Certified Liz Bean @crazy4rap]

Really glad I increased my lexapro before the earthquake

[Sarah Solomon @sarahsolfails]

I DON’T WANT TO DIE IN A STUDIO APARTMENT

[Brandon Trusso @brandontrusso]

We survived the NYC earthquake.

We will rebuild

[Robby Slowik @RobbySlowik]

Yelling "I'M WALKING HERE" at a tectonic plate

[Certified Liz Bean @crazy4rap]

My bushwick neighbors and I were all outside in the front yard being like “I THOUGHT THE BUILDING WAS FINALLY COLLAPSING” bc it’s way more believable

[Keara Sullivan @superkeara]

U know ur east coast is showing when u experience an earthquake for the 1st time and ur first thought is “NO the apartment building is collapsing from structural damages and my shitty landlord NOOO”

[Anna Khachiyan @annakhachiyan]

Much like the earthquake I’m also a 4.8 in New York

[kelsey weekman @kelsaywhat]

here's how jojo siwa is responsible for the NYC earthquake:

[Certified Liz Bean @crazy4rap]

Alright the earthquake made me redownload twitter

[Kazembe Balagun @Bronxbanlieue]

Eric Adams about to send 500,000 cops to the earth’s core.

[Certified Liz Bean @crazy4rap]

@fadu0127 Grown but it’s still weird being his age now and thinking about dating a person who’s still in school. It’s definitely even creepier to like someone under 18 no question

[Certified Liz Bean @crazy4rap]

Even getting into my 30s and knowing that men well into their 30s were trying to date me when I was 21…that is so fucking weird bro what? I was literally living in my twin bed at my parents house 😂 pervs

[Moira Donegan @MoiraDonegan]

A fun part of getting older as a woman is hitting the age these men were when they knew you and your friends and realizing how childlike and fragile girls that age seem to you now. Lends a special horror to it.

[Certified Liz Bean @crazy4rap]

My social media is exhausting lately. As a mostly healed person the healthiest advice I can give to white women is to give less fucks about health. I wish I could require all of them to take a rest day, drink a cold beer, and eat a meal w real pasta

[Certified Liz Bean @crazy4rap]

@Janellias Lol name an under 21 year old who gets WINE DELIVERY

[Certified Liz Bean @crazy4rap]

@imbethmccoll Everyone in the comments fighting and I simply cannot read this sentence to save my life 😂

[Certified Liz Bean @crazy4rap]

@politigaymer This is the most Kyle tweet I have ever seen I think

[Certified Liz Bean @crazy4rap]

My brother just told me about how Alex Morgan and her husband got thrown out of Disney world for being blackout drunk and in my mind this simply enhances her status as an American hero

[Certified Liz Bean @crazy4rap]

Maturity is going from thinking Jessa is awesome and thinking you’re her to understanding that Jessa sucks and Hannah doesn’t suck as much as you thought

[Маделейн . @normalmadeline]

Jessa. the absolute worst type of Girl.

[Certified Liz Bean @crazy4rap]

Making the National racism anthem catchy is a special type of evil

[Certified Liz Bean @crazy4rap]

Ok so the downside to everyone on TikTok calling out Jason Aldean for his sundown town song is that I now have it stuck in my head 😳