Xer Mx-a-Lot

I may not be funny but I am technically funny

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

Conservatives hate my son just because he's an abortion

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

Who shit in my jackolantern

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

@jamesetchison made me laugh 🤷

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

Just saw a lady wearing a shirt that says "TEAM JESUS" and I really think Edward would fucking drag Him

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

@Bulgogi___papi I love that shit man,, eat it like cereal FUCKs my shit up but heals the soul,,, stay strong brother pray 🙏

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

@Bulgogi___papi what is the weirdest

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

"going into debt" like im not already fuckin there

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

Being an English major is stupid because I'm going into debt just to attend what's basically book club every day of the week

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

@ceej_the_king I cut up the owl poop in seventh grade on a class trip to oxbow meadows and sat next to my middle school girlfriend and we held hands the whole time

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

@slickgently I own a keyboard. I can probably figure that out.

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

Gotta get my truck fixed
*removes truck nuts*

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

@kyliemathisdocx But not shmeat-free

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

The ring on her finger is an engagement ring now

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

There's a ring on her finger and that ring is my asshole

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

@Bulgogi___papi What did you order?

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

@jamesetchison It's funnier when you say it tbh

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

@The_MikeMurphy Maybe I can befriend the snail and we can get lunch together but never hold hands

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

@The_MikeMurphy yes papa 💋

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

Her: Baby who tf is CSU 2-factor authentication??

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

Let's get Air Bud in the UFC

[Xer Mx-a-Lot @creamcorndog]

@jamesetchison Why?