calamitous ortbo

Software Engineer by day, aspiring food truck owner by night. I run a lot.

[calamitous ortbo @cregatron]

feels good, man

no it doesn't everything hurts

[gi @karlsasson]

we’re losing the ancient texts 💔

[Jill Dubuque @jillianndubuque]

“Are you excited to go to the game tonight?!”
Me:

[no one @_agirlisnoone]

I’ve balded the @NHLBruins roster, for each goal scored the scorer gets his hairline back:

[0x45 @0x45o]

bro

[calamitous ortbo @cregatron]

"Yes, I am happy"
"No, manage settings"

[Brent Rooker @Brent_Rooker25]

My algorithm has me deep into meteorology twitter right now and let me tell ya things are getting CONTENTIOUS over these snow storm forecasts in the south

[calamitous ortbo @cregatron]

Chara

[Daniel Keller @dnlklr]

"Delta Force operators conducted rehearsals on a full-scale replica of the presidential compound, including the specific architectural features of Maduro’s residence at Fuerte Tiuna. The mock facility, constructed at a classified location likely within the United States, replicated not just the physical layout but the specific construction materials and hardening measures that were supposed to provide protection. The rehearsals focused on defeating physical hardening measures, specifically the steel-reinforced doors and safe rooms that were supposed to provide final refuge."

[soup🍓 @thrluv]

i saw mommy kissing santa clause now they're going to bed n my stomach is sick n it's all in my head but she's touching his chest now

[calamitous ortbo @cregatron]

THAT COULD'VE BEEN AN EMAIL PUT SURVIVOR BACK

[vivienne ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა @sunshinevvn]

meteorologists love sharing plots which are impenetrable beyond parody then saying smth like “May God have mercy on our souls”

[demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon]

my 4 y.o. saw the NY election results and said "papa, will socialism taking root in america's largest metropolitan area upend the way of life we hold so dear?" and i was like ooo you slipped up baby girl you're tryna Orphan (2009) me ain’t you. i'm getting Orphan (2009)’d again

[calamitous ortbo @cregatron]

@_TyAnderson dying for context

[calamitous ortbo @cregatron]

inventing some new times here at TD Garden #nhlbruins

[calamitous ortbo @cregatron]

hey @NHLBruins the AI bear looks bad

[NASA @NASA]

Uranus is warmer than we thought.

New computer modeling techniques revealed that Uranus generates internal heat. This is similar to our solar system’s other gas giants, like Jupiter or Neptune. https://t.co/OpsOIwXYc9

[sam (dependent thinker) @CobrastanGuy]

grok claims to be mechahitler and they immediately operation paperclip it lol

[House ⚔️ @mrmatthouse]

hey there delilah what’s it like in new orc city

[House ⚔️ @mrmatthouse]

take me down to the orc city where the grass is green and the girls are also green