Diplodocris

[Diplodocris @cris1arson]

My life isn't a movie
My life is a 2013 Nissan pathfinder commercial.

[Diplodocris @cris1arson]

My neighbor just told me that all pedophiles come from Massachusetts

[The Associated Press @AP]

Iran war halts Qatar helium output, threatening global tech supply chains https://t.co/37rxECKWMu

[Chris Fleming @chrisfluming]

you all slept on klobuchar

[Diplodocris @cris1arson]

@mushubeans @grok break this down for me

[dershep @dershep]

i once convinced dairy queen to make me a chili cheese dog blizzard.
i have mixed feelings on how it was.

[Hasbulla @Hasbulla]

Gaza belongs to Palestinians, and one day will be free! From the river to the sea🇵🇸 @realDonaldTrump @elonmusk

[Kleinsasser Fan @Noah2Me]

Free him your honor

[Diplodocris @cris1arson]

Gonna name my first couple of kids after a Yorkshire Terrier and a Golden Retriever named Gizmo and Waffles respectively

[Diplodocris @cris1arson]

I honestly think Chris Rock deserved it. I wished I could've slapped him myself. That man did not have to release a hit TV show called Everybody Hate's Chris while I was in elementary school.

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Will Smith has released a 5 minute video apologising to Chris Rock and his family for slapping him at the Oscars.

“There’s no part of me that thinks that was the right way to behave in that moment.”

(Source: https://t.co/1uSxDVvXr0)

[Diplodocris @cris1arson]

Harold and Kumar would've been able to find white castle if they had phones no problem

[Pangzai @hebeipangzai]

#Chinese New Year
Today is Chinese New year's Eve. I wish you all a happy New year. Fat Boy wishes you all a happy New year in Hebei, China! I wish you all good health, make more money, the whole family is happy and receive more red envelopes in the new year.

[Diplodocris @cris1arson]

Sending prayers to @BryceHolak tonight, thinking about you buddy

[Diplodocris @cris1arson]

really don't need Matt Damon calling me a pussy at 3 am for not investing in crypto while I am trying to watch YouTube videos cause I can't sleep

[Diplodocris @cris1arson]

@marlbroke top tier tweet

[Diplodocris @cris1arson]

@FerfMxn drake

[Diplodocris @cris1arson]

Nothing like the smell of fresh rent control in the morning