Cayden

[Cayden @crudepine]

About to sign the lisan al gaib

[🇬🇷 Konstantinos Massaras @KostaMassaras]

@hhhhhtjds @daxooo_ You cannot compare him with other humans.

Only with God

[Cayden @crudepine]

Greatest day in Dortmund history so far

[Cayden @crudepine]

In an 1-on-1 meeting today and saw a squirrel fall outta the tree out the window behind them. Never had to lock in more in my life

[Cayden @crudepine]

No card for terrible tackle as I tweet this…

[Cayden @crudepine]

Felix Zwayer reffing USA game is terrible. Biggest Dortmund hater ever

[Cayden @crudepine]

1 week post grad and spent my whole day throwing up in my grandparents house

[Cayden @crudepine]

Hammonton, New Jersey is a shit hole

[Cayden @crudepine]

I know all the planets just by looking at them in the sky

[Cayden @crudepine]

I hate them so much

[ESPN FC @ESPNFC]

BAYERN MUNICH FROM DOWN 0-3 TO WINNING 4-3 IN THE SPAN OF 30 MINUTES!

ALREADY CROWNED CHAMPIONS AND THEY'RE STILL DOING IT 🤯

[Cayden @crudepine]

Didn’t realize it was penalty Saturday

[Cayden @crudepine]

When I get a real job my first purchase is going to be SoundCloud premium

[Cayden @crudepine]

Didn’t realize the whole city of Stuttgart was so soft

[Cayden @crudepine]

I wish I could tell the Uber Eats driver my house code so he can bring it to the couch

[Cayden @crudepine]

Was told if I was an inside out emotion I would be sadness and depression

[Cayden @crudepine]

@slippy_spew Wise words. Thank you

[Cayden @crudepine]

Free taco god bless Valerie

[Cayden @crudepine]

Tripped in the street mid tweet

[Cayden @crudepine]

Being blamed for the location of the beach is crazy

[Schaffrillas @Schaffrillas]

What’s the US’s “fourth” city. NYC, LA, and Wilmington Delaware are pretty clearly the top 3 but the 4th is more ambiguous. I feel like the main contenders are probably Chicago, Phoenix, Seattle, or maybe Reading PA

[Cayden @crudepine]

I’ve got a really good track record of not dying